Here comes the money! (Wrestlemania Preview!)
Apr 1, 2016 10:12:43 GMT -5
KC Royals GM (Kevin) likes this
Post by D Backs GM (Tyler) on Apr 1, 2016 10:12:43 GMT -5
It is time once again for the most nonsense post of the year. The annual Wrestlemania preview. Sure, technically we are all adults, but who cares? Lets be kids again for a night and cheer for the good/bad guys. And before we get going, I will remind everyone they can WATCH FOR FREE this year on a free trial of the WWE Network (which I recommend, all PPVs for $10 a month and basically every old wrestling event ever from NWO to ECW to WWE).
Kalisto is a tiny little floppy luchador who wears a mask. He is really fun to watch and does some crazy stunts in the ring and out of it. No real personality, but athletic as hell. Ryback is a giant mountain of a human that constantly gets “Gold-Berg” chants because he reminds people of that 2000 WCW phenom. This match will likely go on for about 5 minutes, I’m not devoting that much time to it. But it might have some cool moves.
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This is hot garbage. Watch to see how badly Eva Maria sucks and that is about all. In fact, if you tune in after these first two matches, I will not judge you.
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Yes, those Dudley Boys. Now instead of putting people through tables (which is still kind of their thing) people are rooting for them to go through tables. Bubba Ray has been kind of a dick lately and they are certainly the bad guys. Even though a lot of the crowd still love them for the nostalgia of ECW and the good old days of WWE. The Usos do some cool stuff, but are stale to a lot of fans since they are usually all smiles and no intensity. Make it a real competition, or at least try. Regardless, the Usos won’t be stale for the non-followers, and they do have some cool moves (including the haka as part of their entrance).
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Note: I don’t know the order, so this is my best guess at how it goes.[/div]
There is a lot going on here. Lets have a bit on each person, because this might steal the show as best match.
Kevin Owens - Probably the best mic worker in the game today. And an excellent wrestler to boot. He is awesome, and if he loses here, he could well be headed to the main event. Fan favorite in spite of being a bad guy. He will get boos because he’s a pro and its his job. But the smart fans love him.
Sami Zayn - Newcomer to the WWE, but has been working in the same places with Owens for the last 15 years. He is the #1 rival of Owens. He is coming back from injury, but he too, can really really wrestle. Look for him and Owens to feud coming out of this (I’d guess).
Dolph Ziggler - Odd spot. Fans like him. But he’s been around forever and never really got anywhere above this spot on the card. Good wrestler. Has held this title a lot and does well with it. He’s solid, and reliable.
Zack Ryder - Hasn’t been on TV in months. Rumors are that WWE hate him in spite of him being insanely over with fans. He’s neat, but ultimately not a threat here, and will likely be off TV soon again (even though that is not what he deserves).
Sin Cara - Human mistake in the ring. No story. Not much to see here. He does flippy stuff so he might be good for a fun spot. That’s about it.
The Miz - Good on the mic, not so much in the ring. He can rile the fans up, but isn’t really a threat here.
Stardust - He is Cody Rhodes in weird paint. Ugh.
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The New Day is amazing and hilarious. The good news here is all the wrestlers involved are very talented. There have also been rumors of a “big thing” happening in this match to MAKE the New Day huge stars. I have no idea what that means, but tune in.
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Neat match here. AJ Styles is a long traveled veteran who is new to WWE. He’s really good. Jericho is being a GREAT heel here too. Everyone loves AJ and hates Jericho, which is tough for a returning star to accomplish. AJ has a TON of great moves and is really really fun to watch. These guys have had run ins and matches in the past and they can really put on a show. If the crowd gets invested, this could be great.
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I’m not going through everyone this year because we really don’t know everyone to be honest. Announced so far: Heath Slater, Curtis Axel, Adam Rose, Bo Dallas, Big Show, Kane, Tyler Breeze, Mark Henry, Jack Swagger, Fandango, Damien Sandow, Darren Young, Konnor, Viktor, Goldust and R-Truth. Not an inspiring group to say the least. The roster has been so decimated by injury that this probably won’t be that great or really have a “plan” for a story beyond “the big guys are hard to throw over the rope”. Which is fine. Not every match can be a 10. It’s a long show. Relax during this one and enjoy some chaos.
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Well well well, we have come a long way from that 10 Diva match. This will be great. These three have put on a LOT of great matches in the past and this one will definitely be a classic. This is the beginning of the new era for women’s wrestling. All three of these girls are great on the mic, and in the ring. Sasha in particular is outstanding. It’s anyones guess who wins this one (as is the case with most of these matches this year, which is refreshing and nice for once). I can’t wait for this match. Oh, and Ric Flair will be at his daughter’s side probably looking to sneak one by and help her retain. Who could resist some classic Flair?
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This should be good. Ambrose and Lesnar are two of the most hyped, over people in the company. In fact, probably two of the three most popular wrestlers on the show. They can both wrestle really well and excel in the hardcore area. Recently, legends have been endorsing Dean and giving him their trademark weapons. Mick Foley gave him a 2x4 with a thing of barbed wire wrapped around it. Terry Funk gave him his chainsaw (chainsaw charlie). While I doubt Dean will be lopping off a limb, this match should be fun. Maybe not technical wrestling, but definitely telling a fun story. Hopefully a win for Dean Ambrose and a spot against whoever wins the title. He is so hot right now and they’d be crazy not to put him in the best position to be successful as a top level star.
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Booooooooooooooooooo. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Roman Reigns is not ready, but he is going to win his title. This is the most interesting thing going on right now. Everyone (repeat: everyone) knows that he is not ready to be a top guy, and more importantly, the fans are rejecting him. He is the good guy up against the big bad authority and STILL, he gets boos. We don’t like him. It’s sad, because he is a decent guy and has ok matches. He just doesn’t belong with the belt (yet). But alas, I do think they are going to put it on him here and I do think it is going to work (I’ll explain why in the next match). For HHH, I’m not sure if this is a mania one off, or if he takes a few months and helps out with the roster so depleted by injury. My guess is the latter, although I’m not sure how it’ll work. Again, unpredictable this year. It’s a good thing.
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For those who have not been watching recently Shane McMahon is back. And settle in a little, because this match actually has a story. About a month ago, Shane made a surprise return to RAW to confront Vince and Steph and basically say
Shane: Hey, I know dirt on you, and I know that I’m in charge of this company when you die
Vince: ok, what do you want?
Shane: I want control of RAW, because you have run it into the ground (which is true). Guys who don’t deserve it, are handed opportunities (Roman Reigns) and guys who deserve it are held back (Dean Ambrose, Cesaro, and a lot more).
Vince: Ok, but you have to win a match first.
Shane: Ok
Vince: Ok you have to face Undertaker at Wrestlemania in Hell in a cell.
Shane: …k
So thats what is at stake for Shane and the company. Vince also declared that IF Undertaker loses that will be his last Wrestlemania match. Which he has no real way of enforcing if he loses his power but whatever, lets ignore that for a sec. This is Taker’s home town. The biggest Wrestlemania ever attendance wise. This is likely his last one anyway. Shane winning is the more interesting story and it makes a lot of sense for them to shake things up because of all the injuries and the quickly declining ratings. Plus, who wouldn’t want to see Taker go out in a blaze of glory in his home state (at Wrestlemania anyway. I smell a Cena retirement match at Summerslam)
Preshow
US TITLE MATCH
Kalisto Vs Ryback
Kalisto Vs Ryback
Kalisto is a tiny little floppy luchador who wears a mask. He is really fun to watch and does some crazy stunts in the ring and out of it. No real personality, but athletic as hell. Ryback is a giant mountain of a human that constantly gets “Gold-Berg” chants because he reminds people of that 2000 WCW phenom. This match will likely go on for about 5 minutes, I’m not devoting that much time to it. But it might have some cool moves.
Prediction - Kalisto retains. Score one for the little man.
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10 Woman Tag Match
Total Divas (Brie Bella, Paige, Natalya, Alicia Fox, and Eva Marie) vs BAD & Blonde (Lana, Summer Rae, Naomi, Emma, and Tamina)
Total Divas (Brie Bella, Paige, Natalya, Alicia Fox, and Eva Marie) vs BAD & Blonde (Lana, Summer Rae, Naomi, Emma, and Tamina)
This is hot garbage. Watch to see how badly Eva Maria sucks and that is about all. In fact, if you tune in after these first two matches, I will not judge you.
Prediction - Boring chants and a bathroom break.
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Tag Team Match
The Usos vs The Dudley Boys
The Usos vs The Dudley Boys
Yes, those Dudley Boys. Now instead of putting people through tables (which is still kind of their thing) people are rooting for them to go through tables. Bubba Ray has been kind of a dick lately and they are certainly the bad guys. Even though a lot of the crowd still love them for the nostalgia of ECW and the good old days of WWE. The Usos do some cool stuff, but are stale to a lot of fans since they are usually all smiles and no intensity. Make it a real competition, or at least try. Regardless, the Usos won’t be stale for the non-followers, and they do have some cool moves (including the haka as part of their entrance).
Prediction - The Usos win and put Bubba through a table to make the crowd happy as the preshow ends.
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Main Card
Note: I don’t know the order, so this is my best guess at how it goes.[/div]
Intercontinental Title Ladder Match
Kevin Ownes (c), Sami Zayn, Dolph Ziggler, Zack Ryder, Sin Cara, The Miz, and Stardust.
Kevin Ownes (c), Sami Zayn, Dolph Ziggler, Zack Ryder, Sin Cara, The Miz, and Stardust.
There is a lot going on here. Lets have a bit on each person, because this might steal the show as best match.
Kevin Owens - Probably the best mic worker in the game today. And an excellent wrestler to boot. He is awesome, and if he loses here, he could well be headed to the main event. Fan favorite in spite of being a bad guy. He will get boos because he’s a pro and its his job. But the smart fans love him.
Sami Zayn - Newcomer to the WWE, but has been working in the same places with Owens for the last 15 years. He is the #1 rival of Owens. He is coming back from injury, but he too, can really really wrestle. Look for him and Owens to feud coming out of this (I’d guess).
Dolph Ziggler - Odd spot. Fans like him. But he’s been around forever and never really got anywhere above this spot on the card. Good wrestler. Has held this title a lot and does well with it. He’s solid, and reliable.
Zack Ryder - Hasn’t been on TV in months. Rumors are that WWE hate him in spite of him being insanely over with fans. He’s neat, but ultimately not a threat here, and will likely be off TV soon again (even though that is not what he deserves).
Sin Cara - Human mistake in the ring. No story. Not much to see here. He does flippy stuff so he might be good for a fun spot. That’s about it.
The Miz - Good on the mic, not so much in the ring. He can rile the fans up, but isn’t really a threat here.
Stardust - He is Cody Rhodes in weird paint. Ugh.
Prediction - Sami Zayn wins.
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4-3 Tag Team Handicap Match
The New Day vs League of Nations
The New Day vs League of Nations
The New Day is amazing and hilarious. The good news here is all the wrestlers involved are very talented. There have also been rumors of a “big thing” happening in this match to MAKE the New Day huge stars. I have no idea what that means, but tune in.
Prediction - The New Day win, are funny, and are not booty.
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Singles Match
AJ Styles vs Chris Jericho
AJ Styles vs Chris Jericho
Neat match here. AJ Styles is a long traveled veteran who is new to WWE. He’s really good. Jericho is being a GREAT heel here too. Everyone loves AJ and hates Jericho, which is tough for a returning star to accomplish. AJ has a TON of great moves and is really really fun to watch. These guys have had run ins and matches in the past and they can really put on a show. If the crowd gets invested, this could be great.
Prediction - Jericho via cheating of some kind.
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Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal
20 Men
20 Men
I’m not going through everyone this year because we really don’t know everyone to be honest. Announced so far: Heath Slater, Curtis Axel, Adam Rose, Bo Dallas, Big Show, Kane, Tyler Breeze, Mark Henry, Jack Swagger, Fandango, Damien Sandow, Darren Young, Konnor, Viktor, Goldust and R-Truth. Not an inspiring group to say the least. The roster has been so decimated by injury that this probably won’t be that great or really have a “plan” for a story beyond “the big guys are hard to throw over the rope”. Which is fine. Not every match can be a 10. It’s a long show. Relax during this one and enjoy some chaos.
Prediction - Surprise entrant? Or maybe Mark Henry retires with a W. No real idea but it doesn’t matter.
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Triple Threat Match for the Divas Title
Charlotte Flair (C) vs Becky Lynch vs Sasha Banks
Charlotte Flair (C) vs Becky Lynch vs Sasha Banks
Well well well, we have come a long way from that 10 Diva match. This will be great. These three have put on a LOT of great matches in the past and this one will definitely be a classic. This is the beginning of the new era for women’s wrestling. All three of these girls are great on the mic, and in the ring. Sasha in particular is outstanding. It’s anyones guess who wins this one (as is the case with most of these matches this year, which is refreshing and nice for once). I can’t wait for this match. Oh, and Ric Flair will be at his daughter’s side probably looking to sneak one by and help her retain. Who could resist some classic Flair?
Prediction - Charlotte Makes Becky tap and retains
Bonus prediction - As is heavily rumored online, the “Divas” title will be retired and the “Womens” title will be back Monday on Raw. As it should be.
Bonus prediction - As is heavily rumored online, the “Divas” title will be retired and the “Womens” title will be back Monday on Raw. As it should be.
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No Holds Barred Street Fight
Dean Ambrose vs Brock Lesnar
Dean Ambrose vs Brock Lesnar
This should be good. Ambrose and Lesnar are two of the most hyped, over people in the company. In fact, probably two of the three most popular wrestlers on the show. They can both wrestle really well and excel in the hardcore area. Recently, legends have been endorsing Dean and giving him their trademark weapons. Mick Foley gave him a 2x4 with a thing of barbed wire wrapped around it. Terry Funk gave him his chainsaw (chainsaw charlie). While I doubt Dean will be lopping off a limb, this match should be fun. Maybe not technical wrestling, but definitely telling a fun story. Hopefully a win for Dean Ambrose and a spot against whoever wins the title. He is so hot right now and they’d be crazy not to put him in the best position to be successful as a top level star.
Prediction - Dean Ambrose wins after a lot of action, blood, and a big spot.
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WWE World Heavyweight Championship Match
Triple H (C) vs Roman Reigns
Triple H (C) vs Roman Reigns
Booooooooooooooooooo. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Roman Reigns is not ready, but he is going to win his title. This is the most interesting thing going on right now. Everyone (repeat: everyone) knows that he is not ready to be a top guy, and more importantly, the fans are rejecting him. He is the good guy up against the big bad authority and STILL, he gets boos. We don’t like him. It’s sad, because he is a decent guy and has ok matches. He just doesn’t belong with the belt (yet). But alas, I do think they are going to put it on him here and I do think it is going to work (I’ll explain why in the next match). For HHH, I’m not sure if this is a mania one off, or if he takes a few months and helps out with the roster so depleted by injury. My guess is the latter, although I’m not sure how it’ll work. Again, unpredictable this year. It’s a good thing.
Prediction - Roman wins. People boo. HHH Crotch chops.
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Hell In A Cell Match
Shane McMahon vs The Undertaker
Shane McMahon vs The Undertaker
For those who have not been watching recently Shane McMahon is back. And settle in a little, because this match actually has a story. About a month ago, Shane made a surprise return to RAW to confront Vince and Steph and basically say
Shane: Hey, I know dirt on you, and I know that I’m in charge of this company when you die
Vince: ok, what do you want?
Shane: I want control of RAW, because you have run it into the ground (which is true). Guys who don’t deserve it, are handed opportunities (Roman Reigns) and guys who deserve it are held back (Dean Ambrose, Cesaro, and a lot more).
Vince: Ok, but you have to win a match first.
Shane: Ok
Vince: Ok you have to face Undertaker at Wrestlemania in Hell in a cell.
Shane: …k
So thats what is at stake for Shane and the company. Vince also declared that IF Undertaker loses that will be his last Wrestlemania match. Which he has no real way of enforcing if he loses his power but whatever, lets ignore that for a sec. This is Taker’s home town. The biggest Wrestlemania ever attendance wise. This is likely his last one anyway. Shane winning is the more interesting story and it makes a lot of sense for them to shake things up because of all the injuries and the quickly declining ratings. Plus, who wouldn’t want to see Taker go out in a blaze of glory in his home state (at Wrestlemania anyway. I smell a Cena retirement match at Summerslam)
Prediction - Shane wins in a very very memorable match.
