Post by D Backs GM (Tyler) on Mar 25, 2015 7:42:40 GMT -5
So my predictions last year assumed that the WWE powers that be give a shit about the audience. After a year and a half of this, I have now come to terms with the fact that they don’t, so hopefully I can hit a few more predictions this year. As always, enjoy.
Now, in order to fully appreciate this show I’ll give a little background on the current landscape of wrestling. The WWE has been littered with bad storytelling, tone deaf stars being pushed over those who do well with the crowd, and just all around shittyness (google Bill DeMott) BUT there is sort of hope for the fans.
While Vince and the WWE seem to be floundering to make new stars and keep them going, HHH (the next in line to run the show) runs a little thing called NXT. It is like AAA Ball for wrestlers. Only instead of the games being boring except for when a top prospect is due to pitch, these NXT shows are far and away better than what we get on Raw every week. Great storytelling, GREAT wrestling, and only 1 hour a week and the occasional 2 hour specials. If you want to enjoy wrestling again, get the network and watch NXT. I promise you will enjoy it no matter who you are or what your history in wrestle-viewing is.
Anyway… onward:
2 HOUR PRESHOW - Seriously
Once again on the WWE Network (for only 9.99!) you get two hours of build up to a 6 hour show. Totally not needed, but there are always some nice cameos from old superstars and the warm up match, which in this case, should be a pretty damn good one.
Fatal 4 way for the tag team championships (Uppercats (c), Los Matadors, The New Day, and The Usos)
This should be solid from a fun/wrestling standpoint, but not much going on story telling wise. Natalia (Tyson Kidd’s real life wife and storyline wife) is always interesting as her and Kidd have a fun “why are you always fucking things up Natty!” dynamic to their marriage that plays well on screen and Cesaro is amazing. I’d say look for them to retain here as they just recently got the straps from the Usos and should have a nice little run in them.
Prediction: Uppercats pin Los Matadors)
Bonus Prediction: At least a few high flying spots from Kofi/Kidd/Uso will happen and the crowd will be into this match, even though half the teams have not been relevant in a while (or ever)
AJ and Paige vs Bellas
Paige and AJ are the internet darlings of the cench as far as the divas go. The bella with the fake boobs (and a finished called the rack attack… I wish I were kidding) is the champ now, but they won’t matter much on Sunday. These 4 girls can work and there has been growing outrage about the ladies never being given more than 2/3 minutes on a 3 hour show every week and doing stupid shit instead of wrestling, so look forward to a 15 minute match here #GiveDivasAChance
Prediction: AJ Pins Brie
Bonus prediction: The bells will go for twin magic (where one swaps out for the other when they are hurt and the refs back is turned) for the first time since Nikki’s boob job and the ref will deny them. Please let this happen WWE.
ARMBAR Battle Royal
Same as last year, just get everyone on the card style match that is usually pretty fun. There are even a few storylines in this years! Lets go:
The Miz & Damien Mizdow - After a really really hot period for Damien Sandow, WWE decided “fuck him lets pair him with the Miz to cool him off” only it didn’t work. The fans love him, period. He has been serving as the Miz’s bitch (stunt double, assistant, whatever) for a long time and they are due for a break up at a high profile show. I expect this to factor into the finish and frankly, can’t wait.
Curtis Axel - Never got a chance to join the Rumble due to an attack by Rowan. Now has declared this #AxelMania. It’s fun, he’s over with the smart fans (which is what WM is made up of), and a great wrestler.
Ryback - DA BIG GUY! Basically a giant human who WWE likes and has been booked strongly recently. Worth a shot at winning.
Big Show & Kane - Not the Kane or Big Show you like though. These are the corporate henchmen who are boring and get “go away” boos, not “you’re the bad guy” boos. They old, retire already.
Goldust - Him and his brother (more on him later) have been feuding in what would have made for a perfect WM grudge match. Instead, they stopped that story (since the fans might actually like that), and placed Goldy here. It is possible that Cody… ahem, Stardust make this presence felt here to reignite the feud and mess with Goldust.
Winner of the NXT Tournament - Remember when I said there was this far better show called NXT? Well they are having a tournament where the winner gets called up to the main roster for this match. I expect it to be Adrian Neville. A high flyer who has paid his dues and is definitely ready for the big time. Except his ears stick out so I’m sure he will be billed as a giant elf and WWE Writers will fuck him over. I’m only half kidding. But still, it will be very fun to watch. He does this insane move called the red arrow.
Here is the list of everyone else who is there, but doesn’t have a story really:
Fandango, Adam Rose, Zack Ryder
, Jack Swagger, Titus O'Neil, Darren Young, Erick Rowan, Sin Cara, Heath Slater, Mark Henry, Konnor & Viktor.
Prediction: Mizdow turns on Miz and wins. Mis is sad. Feud ensues.
Bonus Prediction: This match is an absolute shit show. There are so many guys in there who don’t matter that all but the last 2 minutes will even be watchable. Also, Big Show and Kane are booed.
Cena vs Rusev (c) for the US Championship
So this is year #2 where we find Cena working with young talent trying to elevate them. Even though he derailed Wyatt’s push last year, I say he still gets credit for trying. Anyway, as usual its same old shit with (super)Cena. But Rusev has never been pinned or submitted. So after about a 1.5 year unbeaten streak, something is due to happen. I’m cool with this. If Cena is going over anyone, Rusev is a good pick. He will be fine afterwards.
Prediction: Cena makes Rusev Tap to the STF
Bonus Prediction: The internet doesn’t actually mind because it was a great match.
Intercontinental Title Ladder Match (Wade Barret (c), Daniel Bryan, Dean Ambrose, Luke Harper, Dolph Ziggler, Stardust, R Truth)
There is literally no doubt in my mind that this will be match of the night. Every single participant in this match is an EXCELLENT wrestler (except maybe R Truth). Oh, and it’s a ladder match. So again, in order of interesting-ness:
Daniel Bryan - YES YES YES! Won the big one last year, got injured, returned at the rumble and nearly caused his second riot in as many years. He is the chosen one by fans. Period. I expect a win here although WWE can do plenty to keep fans happy without winning then throw him right back into the main event picture where he belongs.
Dean Ambrose - Another fan favorite who was SO OVER in the past year and has since been cooled off by the shitty booking and having to move over for Reigns (more on that later). But again, he is still way way over with fans and if he picked up the W here it would be a great moment. Although I think he still has more to do with Seth Rollins in the future, and they are not dropping Rollins into the IC mix.
Dolph Ziggler - What can be said at this point. Had big moments over and over. The fans adore him. He takes and sells crazy crazy bumps in the ring and plays a great underdog. His time is coming soon for more, but I could definitely see another IC title run for him. Or not, whatever. He will be a success anywhere on the card.
Luke Harper - Formerly of the Wyatt Family. He is still a weirdo, but he can wrestle. I could see him involved in some crazy ladder spots as well. He is really athletic for a big fella.
Wade Barrett - I’m afraid I’ve got some bad news. Wade Barrett is not walking out with this title. This is the “make fans happy” match. As such as we all love Bad News Barrett, he needs to turn and chase something, not just stagnate with a belt.
Stardust - As talked about before, this is Cody Rhodes, real live brother of Goldust. So if that feud is going to start up again then maybe a little payback for what Cody does in the ARMBAR earlier in the night. Hey, a guy can dream for some compelling storytelling can’t he?
R-Truth - No comment.
Prediction: Dean Ambrose wins
Bonus prediction: Sheamus returns (from real life injury) and costs Daniel Bryan the victory. No, it won’t make sense to anyone else either. WWE are obsessed with this feud. At least Shamo will be a bad guy now hopefully. They need something here.
Undertaker vs Bray Wyatt
We haven’t seen Taker since his loss last year to Brock. Which is good. We don’t need to see him. We all know what we are getting here.
Prediction: Great match. Wyatt wins.
Bonus prediction: Monday on Raw Taker and Sting set a retirement match for next years WM. Awesomeness ensues.
Randy Orton vs Seth Rollins
Orson returns as a babyface to try to dethrone the future of the wwe and Money in the Bank briefcase holder (more on that later). Both great workers in the ring, and Rollins has been GREAT as the top heel all year. He is slimy, hatable, and very good in the ring. the perfect mix.
Prediction: Rollins wins
Bonus prediction: This is hard. This is the one match on the card that could legitimately have anything happen. I wouldn’t put it by them to double turn in from of the pro Rollins crowd and have Seth turn on the authority to be a good guy. I wouldn’t think it were out of the question for him to cheat and win. Nothing is off the table here, except a bad match. This one will be a classic.
Sting vs HHH
Well, its been 14 years away from top flight wrestling (no TNA doesn’t count) for Sting, but he looked really good for his age when things got physical last week on Raw. I think this is going to be a great match and I’m excited to see the match up. I don’t care much for the zero stakes, but whatever, every match can’t have something on the line. Oh wait, yes they can, because this is wrestling. Hopefully Sting sticks around for a bit and topples the authority for good and starts running things because hey, literally anything would be better than a years worth of HHH opening 20 minute promos on Raw every week.
Prediction: HHH wins. WWE always wins over WCW
Bonus prediction: Just kidding, Sting wins. He has to. HHH will be sad and upset and they;ll have a rematch with real stakes at summerslam. Commissionership on the line perhaps? They need something for Sting to leave the ring to here.
Roman Reigns vs Brock Lesnar (c) for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship.
Okay guys, story time.
So first Roman Reigns. He is the chosen one. We can go into all the history with the shield, their premature forced split (Punk left, Bryan injured, we needed stars to fill time), and all that, but here is the deal. WWE want Reigns to happen. He isn’t happening. People are pissed. People are booing. If he walks out of WM going over Lesnar then this will not be pretty. Remember last year being all happy and amazing, this will be the opposite of that. He isn’t ready. He will be someday, but don’t force it, we’re not stupid.
Now to Brock. The single most interesting person in WWE in the last 5 years. Legit wrestler turned pro wrestler turned UFC champ turned back pro wrestler. Rumors for about a year now that he wants to return to MMA, leaving the WWE hanging to not capitalize on someone going over the guy who is the 1 in 21-1 (he beat the undertaker last year). Well, this will be a waste if Brock loses here. He should lose eventually… to Daniel Bryan. At Summerslam. But this week there was hope! On ESPN yesterday he announced he is formally retiring from MMA and resigning with the UFC. So whereas before it was a 2% chance he walks out with the strap, it is now up to maybe 50/50. Good enough for us.
Also in the picture (only slightly) is Seth Rollins. The only salvageable way Reigns wins is if Rollins comes to cash in (never been done at Wrestlemania btw) and wins. If he loses a cash in over Reigns I think LA might just ignite in flames. Wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.
Prediction: Lesanr Retains
Bonus Prediction: The match is kind of how the Cena matches go. This is far fetched for the golden boy to get dominated, but if WWE has any foresight then they will beat the shit out of him here and have him work his way back up to being better next year and then winning. But they don’t, so who knows.
Now, in order to fully appreciate this show I’ll give a little background on the current landscape of wrestling. The WWE has been littered with bad storytelling, tone deaf stars being pushed over those who do well with the crowd, and just all around shittyness (google Bill DeMott) BUT there is sort of hope for the fans.
While Vince and the WWE seem to be floundering to make new stars and keep them going, HHH (the next in line to run the show) runs a little thing called NXT. It is like AAA Ball for wrestlers. Only instead of the games being boring except for when a top prospect is due to pitch, these NXT shows are far and away better than what we get on Raw every week. Great storytelling, GREAT wrestling, and only 1 hour a week and the occasional 2 hour specials. If you want to enjoy wrestling again, get the network and watch NXT. I promise you will enjoy it no matter who you are or what your history in wrestle-viewing is.
Anyway… onward:
2 HOUR PRESHOW - Seriously
Once again on the WWE Network (for only 9.99!) you get two hours of build up to a 6 hour show. Totally not needed, but there are always some nice cameos from old superstars and the warm up match, which in this case, should be a pretty damn good one.
Fatal 4 way for the tag team championships (Uppercats (c), Los Matadors, The New Day, and The Usos)
This should be solid from a fun/wrestling standpoint, but not much going on story telling wise. Natalia (Tyson Kidd’s real life wife and storyline wife) is always interesting as her and Kidd have a fun “why are you always fucking things up Natty!” dynamic to their marriage that plays well on screen and Cesaro is amazing. I’d say look for them to retain here as they just recently got the straps from the Usos and should have a nice little run in them.
Prediction: Uppercats pin Los Matadors)
Bonus Prediction: At least a few high flying spots from Kofi/Kidd/Uso will happen and the crowd will be into this match, even though half the teams have not been relevant in a while (or ever)
AJ and Paige vs Bellas
Paige and AJ are the internet darlings of the cench as far as the divas go. The bella with the fake boobs (and a finished called the rack attack… I wish I were kidding) is the champ now, but they won’t matter much on Sunday. These 4 girls can work and there has been growing outrage about the ladies never being given more than 2/3 minutes on a 3 hour show every week and doing stupid shit instead of wrestling, so look forward to a 15 minute match here #GiveDivasAChance
Prediction: AJ Pins Brie
Bonus prediction: The bells will go for twin magic (where one swaps out for the other when they are hurt and the refs back is turned) for the first time since Nikki’s boob job and the ref will deny them. Please let this happen WWE.
ARMBAR Battle Royal
Same as last year, just get everyone on the card style match that is usually pretty fun. There are even a few storylines in this years! Lets go:
The Miz & Damien Mizdow - After a really really hot period for Damien Sandow, WWE decided “fuck him lets pair him with the Miz to cool him off” only it didn’t work. The fans love him, period. He has been serving as the Miz’s bitch (stunt double, assistant, whatever) for a long time and they are due for a break up at a high profile show. I expect this to factor into the finish and frankly, can’t wait.
Curtis Axel - Never got a chance to join the Rumble due to an attack by Rowan. Now has declared this #AxelMania. It’s fun, he’s over with the smart fans (which is what WM is made up of), and a great wrestler.
Ryback - DA BIG GUY! Basically a giant human who WWE likes and has been booked strongly recently. Worth a shot at winning.
Big Show & Kane - Not the Kane or Big Show you like though. These are the corporate henchmen who are boring and get “go away” boos, not “you’re the bad guy” boos. They old, retire already.
Goldust - Him and his brother (more on him later) have been feuding in what would have made for a perfect WM grudge match. Instead, they stopped that story (since the fans might actually like that), and placed Goldy here. It is possible that Cody… ahem, Stardust make this presence felt here to reignite the feud and mess with Goldust.
Winner of the NXT Tournament - Remember when I said there was this far better show called NXT? Well they are having a tournament where the winner gets called up to the main roster for this match. I expect it to be Adrian Neville. A high flyer who has paid his dues and is definitely ready for the big time. Except his ears stick out so I’m sure he will be billed as a giant elf and WWE Writers will fuck him over. I’m only half kidding. But still, it will be very fun to watch. He does this insane move called the red arrow.
Here is the list of everyone else who is there, but doesn’t have a story really:
Fandango, Adam Rose, Zack Ryder
, Jack Swagger, Titus O'Neil, Darren Young, Erick Rowan, Sin Cara, Heath Slater, Mark Henry, Konnor & Viktor.Prediction: Mizdow turns on Miz and wins. Mis is sad. Feud ensues.
Bonus Prediction: This match is an absolute shit show. There are so many guys in there who don’t matter that all but the last 2 minutes will even be watchable. Also, Big Show and Kane are booed.
Cena vs Rusev (c) for the US Championship
So this is year #2 where we find Cena working with young talent trying to elevate them. Even though he derailed Wyatt’s push last year, I say he still gets credit for trying. Anyway, as usual its same old shit with (super)Cena. But Rusev has never been pinned or submitted. So after about a 1.5 year unbeaten streak, something is due to happen. I’m cool with this. If Cena is going over anyone, Rusev is a good pick. He will be fine afterwards.
Prediction: Cena makes Rusev Tap to the STF
Bonus Prediction: The internet doesn’t actually mind because it was a great match.
Intercontinental Title Ladder Match (Wade Barret (c), Daniel Bryan, Dean Ambrose, Luke Harper, Dolph Ziggler, Stardust, R Truth)
There is literally no doubt in my mind that this will be match of the night. Every single participant in this match is an EXCELLENT wrestler (except maybe R Truth). Oh, and it’s a ladder match. So again, in order of interesting-ness:
Daniel Bryan - YES YES YES! Won the big one last year, got injured, returned at the rumble and nearly caused his second riot in as many years. He is the chosen one by fans. Period. I expect a win here although WWE can do plenty to keep fans happy without winning then throw him right back into the main event picture where he belongs.
Dean Ambrose - Another fan favorite who was SO OVER in the past year and has since been cooled off by the shitty booking and having to move over for Reigns (more on that later). But again, he is still way way over with fans and if he picked up the W here it would be a great moment. Although I think he still has more to do with Seth Rollins in the future, and they are not dropping Rollins into the IC mix.
Dolph Ziggler - What can be said at this point. Had big moments over and over. The fans adore him. He takes and sells crazy crazy bumps in the ring and plays a great underdog. His time is coming soon for more, but I could definitely see another IC title run for him. Or not, whatever. He will be a success anywhere on the card.
Luke Harper - Formerly of the Wyatt Family. He is still a weirdo, but he can wrestle. I could see him involved in some crazy ladder spots as well. He is really athletic for a big fella.
Wade Barrett - I’m afraid I’ve got some bad news. Wade Barrett is not walking out with this title. This is the “make fans happy” match. As such as we all love Bad News Barrett, he needs to turn and chase something, not just stagnate with a belt.
Stardust - As talked about before, this is Cody Rhodes, real live brother of Goldust. So if that feud is going to start up again then maybe a little payback for what Cody does in the ARMBAR earlier in the night. Hey, a guy can dream for some compelling storytelling can’t he?
R-Truth - No comment.
Prediction: Dean Ambrose wins
Bonus prediction: Sheamus returns (from real life injury) and costs Daniel Bryan the victory. No, it won’t make sense to anyone else either. WWE are obsessed with this feud. At least Shamo will be a bad guy now hopefully. They need something here.
Undertaker vs Bray Wyatt
We haven’t seen Taker since his loss last year to Brock. Which is good. We don’t need to see him. We all know what we are getting here.
Prediction: Great match. Wyatt wins.
Bonus prediction: Monday on Raw Taker and Sting set a retirement match for next years WM. Awesomeness ensues.
Randy Orton vs Seth Rollins
Orson returns as a babyface to try to dethrone the future of the wwe and Money in the Bank briefcase holder (more on that later). Both great workers in the ring, and Rollins has been GREAT as the top heel all year. He is slimy, hatable, and very good in the ring. the perfect mix.
Prediction: Rollins wins
Bonus prediction: This is hard. This is the one match on the card that could legitimately have anything happen. I wouldn’t put it by them to double turn in from of the pro Rollins crowd and have Seth turn on the authority to be a good guy. I wouldn’t think it were out of the question for him to cheat and win. Nothing is off the table here, except a bad match. This one will be a classic.
Sting vs HHH
Well, its been 14 years away from top flight wrestling (no TNA doesn’t count) for Sting, but he looked really good for his age when things got physical last week on Raw. I think this is going to be a great match and I’m excited to see the match up. I don’t care much for the zero stakes, but whatever, every match can’t have something on the line. Oh wait, yes they can, because this is wrestling. Hopefully Sting sticks around for a bit and topples the authority for good and starts running things because hey, literally anything would be better than a years worth of HHH opening 20 minute promos on Raw every week.
Prediction: HHH wins. WWE always wins over WCW
Bonus prediction: Just kidding, Sting wins. He has to. HHH will be sad and upset and they;ll have a rematch with real stakes at summerslam. Commissionership on the line perhaps? They need something for Sting to leave the ring to here.
Roman Reigns vs Brock Lesnar (c) for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship.
Okay guys, story time.
So first Roman Reigns. He is the chosen one. We can go into all the history with the shield, their premature forced split (Punk left, Bryan injured, we needed stars to fill time), and all that, but here is the deal. WWE want Reigns to happen. He isn’t happening. People are pissed. People are booing. If he walks out of WM going over Lesnar then this will not be pretty. Remember last year being all happy and amazing, this will be the opposite of that. He isn’t ready. He will be someday, but don’t force it, we’re not stupid.
Now to Brock. The single most interesting person in WWE in the last 5 years. Legit wrestler turned pro wrestler turned UFC champ turned back pro wrestler. Rumors for about a year now that he wants to return to MMA, leaving the WWE hanging to not capitalize on someone going over the guy who is the 1 in 21-1 (he beat the undertaker last year). Well, this will be a waste if Brock loses here. He should lose eventually… to Daniel Bryan. At Summerslam. But this week there was hope! On ESPN yesterday he announced he is formally retiring from MMA and resigning with the UFC. So whereas before it was a 2% chance he walks out with the strap, it is now up to maybe 50/50. Good enough for us.
Also in the picture (only slightly) is Seth Rollins. The only salvageable way Reigns wins is if Rollins comes to cash in (never been done at Wrestlemania btw) and wins. If he loses a cash in over Reigns I think LA might just ignite in flames. Wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.
Prediction: Lesanr Retains
Bonus Prediction: The match is kind of how the Cena matches go. This is far fetched for the golden boy to get dominated, but if WWE has any foresight then they will beat the shit out of him here and have him work his way back up to being better next year and then winning. But they don’t, so who knows.