Post by Red Sox GM (Ty) on Apr 7, 2014 2:34:35 GMT -5
2014 Opening Week Power Rankings
Good morning, gentlemen. I know it’s not technically the weekend anymore, but I’m counting this as a fulfilled promise. I'll clean this up a bit when I get a chance later today, but I figured you'll take whatever scraps I throw you, and you'll like it.
Welcome back to our 7th (!) season of dynasty baseball. We thank all of you for the commitment, competitiveness and general joviality with which you approach our league. As is customary for this time of year, you are due a Power Rankings, which will no doubt provide with absolute certainty the outcome of our season. If you have a problem with the fact that this wasn’t out by Opening Day, take it up with the IRS and then blow it out your ass (I’m looking at you, Tyler). And if you do get ahold of someone, be creative and tell them where they can stick my money.
A friendly reminder to those who have yet to get your league dues in: get your F^&$#$ league dues in (please)! I know I haven’t been great at reminding people, but we should all know the drill by now. Anyway, without further ado, here are the much anticipated rankings. Feel free to offer your own prognostications, second-guess mine or just bitch about how I vastly overrated/underrated or jinxed your team. Best of luck to all this season.
30. Los Angeles Dodgers
Nick’s rebuild seems to have actually taken a discernable direction this offseason. While I didn’t agree with all of his draft picks, the sheer volume of them, and the other good value pick-ups he’s made will no doubt serve him well in his quest to make a contender out of a bottom feeder. Continued leverage of his financial might and a commitment to the youth movement will undoubtedly improve the Dodgers franchise in the seasons to come.
29. Cincinnati Reds
While I wouldn’t have completely blown up the Redlegs when Gideon did, I admire his total commitment to the process. I’m still pissed that Sale slipped through my fingers into Jordan’s lap, but that’s a personal problem. Anyway, it will be a while before Cincy is back among the league’s elite again, but they’re still in the capable hands of the same guy that made them a perennial World Series contender.
28. San Francisco Giants
It seems like poor Adkins has been languishing away in the mid-late 20’s of our Power Rankings since they first began. It’s becoming a disappointing tradition, like visiting the in-laws. Anyway, one perk for him this year is that he can now begin shopping Justin Verlander’s Expiring Contract, which may finally result in a trade. Either way, I’ll be ecstatic to look at his block and not see Verlander and Jayson Werth anymore after this season. The good news is that he pulled some major talent from the minor league draft, so there’s now officially something to look forward to in San Francisco.
27. Chicago White Sox
Graham’s big offseason gamble was Abreu, who seems to be holding his own with the stick. The power will come, and he’ll be useful so long as he keeps his average above .250. Jonathan Villar is proving an able batsman as well (SSS caveat, obviously), so there are bright spots on offense to compliment their more than respectable starters. Unfortunately, I don’t think it’s possible to right the ship quick enough for those guys to be useful for this team, so trades must be made. Those trades will determine how quickly the South Siders claw their way into contention.
26. Texas Rangers
I think Jared decided to revamp his roster at a very opportune time. His division foes are much better than they’ve ever been, and he was staring at an uphill battle just to sneak into the playoffs last year. While I like most of the additions he’s made to the roster, I don’t see how some of them fit- I’m probably still coping with missing out on one of my top offseason FA targets (Ivan Nova). Jared has built a contender before, and I have little doubt that he’ll do so again.
25. Detroit Tigers
When Dale left the Motor City, the roster was bereft of young talent, which had been unceremoniously sacrificed at every opportunity in the hopes of always winning now. Dingo has made some significant capital commitments in Mauer and Kershaw, but he hasn’t neglected his farm system, which was in serious need of rehabilitation. I think it’ll be a few seasons before the Tigers will be keeping Black Kevin up at night, but sustainable success is more likely with an eye towards acquiring young, protectable talent.
24. Oakland Athletics
Bird has a few nice pieces to build around now, after hitting big on Michael Wacha. While I’m quite sure that Pujols will improve on last year’s production, I’m also quite sure that he won’t be anchoring the A’s first playoff team either. There are some useful players in Oakland, and converting some of those aging role players into prospects and draft picks seems like the best way to construct a consistent winner.
23. Houston Astros
If Oscar Taveras would ever stay healthy enough to get promoted to the bigs, Jon may actually have a stew going in Houston. Erik Johnson and Alex Wood are a great start to a young, cheap, effective rotation, and while Votto and Zimmerman are approaching the decline phase of their careers, they should still be productive long enough for Jon to field a competitor around them. If they can turn some of their temporary closers into permanent, young help, they could join the wildcard discussion in ’15.
22. Philadelphia Phillies
The Phils have had some bad luck. Between them buying a lemon in Miguel Montero (sorry about that), Machado destroying his knee, Middlebrooks’ inconsistency, Dickey shrinking in the brisk Canadian climate, and Uggla being Uggla there hasn’t been much to get excited about. Fortunately, it seems like Josh Hamilton is back to punishing baseballs again, but he can’t carry this team alone. The NL is as weak as it’s been in a long time, and there are plenty of pieces that would be useful on a contender, so all is not lost.
21. Tampa Bay Rays
The Rays flaws include a lack of depth, an Opening Day injury to their 2nd best player, and a brutal division. They do have a major building block in McCutchen, who should be a force for years to come, and a budding ace in Justin Masterson. Toronto seems likely to carry the division for the next half decade or so, but there’s always the wildcard. The Rays are probably a year or two away from contention if all goes well, but the cupboards are not bare in Tampa.
20. Miami Marlins
The Fish are sporting a very atypical cleanup hitter and a closer with a brand new plate in his face. Things could be better in Miami- pitching is woefully lacking outside of Madison Bumgarner- but it’s not all bad. Their offense is interesting, headlined by Altuve, Napoli, and a scorching hot Seth Smith. I don’t think this roster is going to take Lee to the Promised Land, so I’d suggest a rebuild, but there’s just enough so that going for it in a down season in the NL isn’t that crazy.
19. Atlanta Braves
Swo’s team is better than he hoped again this year. Following in the footsteps of the rebuilding pioneers before him, he’s made smart free agent purchases and stocked the farm. He could conceivably be back in contention a year from now, but he needs to get off his ass and make some trades to empty the roster of players who will clearly not be on the next Braves playoff team- Matt Joyce, anyone?
18. Milwaukee Brewers
Somebody needs to tell the Brew Crew that they’re allowed to carry more than a 25 man roster. The guys that they have are very good, there just isn’t enough of them. It’s sad to see a once proud franchise languishing away in mediocrity due to inactivity, but it wouldn’t take much for this team to be 10-12 spots higher on our next list (which will be out around the trade deadline, smartasses).
17. Pittsburgh Pirates
Nobody has a better compilation of starting pitching than the Buccos. Larry is leaning too hard on BJ Upton, who looks hopelessly lost at the plate (even for BJ Upton), and rookie MIs, but his pitching is good enough to keep him at least somewhat competitive. A few smart trades converting starters to bats could take this team from marginally competitive to serious wildcard candidate.
16. Arizona Diamondbacks
I really expected more from you, Tyler. I’m not mad, just disappointed. What happened? I guess prospect attrition is a bitch, because I thought this team would be winning division titles by now. Anyway, the DBacks are still in pretty good shape. I really liked their draft, and think Gausman can be a legitimate ace. I don’t see the playoffs in the cards this year, but this is still a team on the rise.
15. New York Yankees
The Yankees are finally back in capable hands again after several years with no direction and irresponsible contracts- much like the actual Yankees (sans the currently in capable hands part). Their offense is a force to be reckoned with, and they caught a lucky break when KRod was secretly anointed closer in Milwaukee. They still need innings, as Cliff Lee and CJ Wilson can’t carry the staff on their own. I’m sure that need will be addressed, and once it is, they’ll be in the AL Wildcard discussion.
14. New York Mets
The Metropolitans hold the dubious honor of leading the league in DL stints in consecutive years. As such, it’s only fitting that his prized offseason acquisition would fall victim to a phallic injury. This is the most impressive roster that the Mets have ever had, and though the Nats are strong, they’re not bulletproof. If they can keep guys off the shelf, they’ve got enough talent to surprise people and finally nab a coveted playoff spot.
13. Chicago Cubs
This is ‘Next Year’ for these Cubs. The division has never been weaker (it’s still pretty strong), and Scott has another playoff caliber team. They need to catch some breaks on offense, and a Neftali Feliz promotion would really help, but this could be the year they FINALLY reach the playoffs. Tyler Flowers is probably not going to win the batting title, so they should really try to acquire another functional bat or two, but the Cards are vulnerable, the Brewers are MIA, and the NL is down. I, for one, am pulling for the Cubbies.
12. Minnesota Twins
Mike really would have benefitted from participating in offseason free agency. He’s had a supremely talented team for quite a while now, and I’ve been expecting them to challenge Black Kevin these past two seasons. Prospect attrition set him back a bit, but there are few teams in the league with a brighter future than Minnesota’s. This team doesn’t need much, just a few serviceable depth pieces.
11. Baltimore Orioles
The Orioles are on pace to lose 52 closers this season. That’s a problem, especially considering the AL East has become the strongest division in the league. Patrick had his club ready for contention, but making up the 15 or so points he stands to lose from said injuries/surprise demotions will be difficult to say the least. It’s not all that grim, though. Through 2 starts, Scott Feldman looks like the free agent signing of the offseason. He’ll need 25 more starts like that to help keep a very thin pitching staff afloat. Never count out such a talented team so early in the season, but things looked a lot better when I started compiling this list a few days ago.
10. St. Louis Cardinals
The Cards offense is stacked, especially if Gyorko and/or Desmond Jennings take the proverbial next step, but will that be enough to fend off the rest of a still-respectable NL Cenral with a severely deficient pitching staff? Big Game James is no Old Hoss Radbourn, so either Yovani Gallardo finds the 2 missing miles per hour on his fastball and Harang asks Bartolo Colon about his anti-aging clinic, or the Red Birds will need to bring in reinforcements. With another 2-3 arms, this team is about as likely as anyone in the NL to find themselves in the hunt for a title.
9. Los Angeles Angels
The Angels are under new and capable management. Unfortunately, that coincides with the emergence of a new juggernaut in the division. John will have is work cut out for him if he’s going to take this team to a second consecutive playoff berth. Matt Kemp needs to stay healthy and be somewhat productive for them to have a chance, because I, for one, don’t buy into the whole Emilio-Bonifacio-is-the-next-Barry-Bonds hype. They should at least challenge the second tier teams in the AL for the wildcard.
8. Washington Nationals
There are 12 categories in this league, and approximately half of them are at least loosely based on the quality of your pitching staff. That’s the only worry for the Nats, who lay claim to possibly the most potent offense in the league. These guys will hit, and while they have a respectable quantity of arms, they could conceivably end up with a combined 15 points in ERA and WHIP. It’s not completely Cork’s fault, as Ron Roenicke callously cut his closer supply in half (especially discouraging when the other half is Axford) when he relegated Jim Henderson to the 8th inning, but an extra closer wasn’t fixing the problem by himself. I fully expect him to address his glaring deficiency, because if he doesn’t, this could be the year the Mets sneak past him into the playoffs.
7. Colorado Rockies
It’s spring, and my new favorite spring pastime is when Kyle announces to the league that he’s going to grace us with his glorious presence. Promising us it’s different this time. Promising us he’s going to spend more time with us and less with his precious family. Promising us Avatar Rankings. Like a chump I buy in with my whole heart, and invariably his immediate absence mercilessly crushes my soul like a rodent beneath the tire of an 18 wheeler on the highway. Stop crushing my soul, Kyle!
P.S. Please come back, Swo is a mess without you.
P.P.S. Your team is pretty decent.
6. San Diego Padres
The Pads still have Mike Trout. In other news, the Pads are still very good. I really like this team and expect them to again take home the NL West crown, despite a solid, and hopefully more present, Rockies club. Ivory Kevin really just needs to get healthy. A healthy Hamels and Griffin come playoff time (especially if Kazmir stays intact) make this team an exceptionally tough opponent, and the class of the NL in my opinion.
5. Boston Red Sox
I have no offensive depth. My starting pitching depresses me. There’s very little imminent help in my minors. But hey, I’ve got relievers out the ass, so I’ve got that going for me. Which is nice. In short, I screwed the pooch in free agency: didn’t spend enough on starters, had way too much money left to spend when relievers came up for bid. At which point I acted as impulsively as my wife at an Ann Taylor sale. Soooo, if anybody needs some middling relief help, I know a guy.
4. Cleveland Indians
The Tribe have been slowly on the path to recovery under former GM Robin’s stewardship, and now Ryan’s, after the infamous Grady Sizemore deal. Could the Indians poetically make the playoffs the same year that Sizemore becomes a thing again? This is a team that I’ve followed pretty closely over the past few seasons, and I really think this is the year they make the leap. The AL is stacked this year, and I don’t see them catching up with the Royals, so they’ll have (hopefully) a difficult struggle with my Red Sox for the lone wildcard spot.
3. Seattle Mariners
Mike didn’t write the book on efficient rebuilds, but he certainly studied and executed it in short order. After a few years of expertly leveraging cap space, shrewd free agent signings, quality drafts, and contract structures, he should win the division this year over a very competitive Angels squad. I’m curious to see how we evaluate the Cano deal in 6 years, as it could prove to be his Achilles heel. It could also put him over the top, so it’s easy to justify, but if his production evaporates in Safeco’s cavernous outfield, it would be a huge setback.
2. Kansas City Royals
Another year, another top flight contender in Kansas City. BK knows better than anyone the value of depth, and he’s constructed another roster than should coast into an ALCS date with our league’s top team. I won’t pat him on the back too much, since it’s probably sore from doing so himself, but I will say that Billy Burns is quite probably the single greatest draft pick there ever was and ever shall be. Amen.
1. Toronto Blue Jays
The damn Canadians have become the class of the league, and with all due respect to Ebony Kevin and the rest of the peons that follow, it’s not really close. While it pains me to admit that we live in a world where Canada has overtaken us, it’s undeniable. Jordan has assembled an incredibly talented, well balanced roster with depth for days. For my money, (most of which is in an envelope en route to the fine gentlemen at the Atlanta branch of the Internal Revenue Service) this is the best roster our league has ever seen. If anyone other than the Jays wins the league this year, he should commit Harry Caray.s
Good morning, gentlemen. I know it’s not technically the weekend anymore, but I’m counting this as a fulfilled promise. I'll clean this up a bit when I get a chance later today, but I figured you'll take whatever scraps I throw you, and you'll like it.
Welcome back to our 7th (!) season of dynasty baseball. We thank all of you for the commitment, competitiveness and general joviality with which you approach our league. As is customary for this time of year, you are due a Power Rankings, which will no doubt provide with absolute certainty the outcome of our season. If you have a problem with the fact that this wasn’t out by Opening Day, take it up with the IRS and then blow it out your ass (I’m looking at you, Tyler). And if you do get ahold of someone, be creative and tell them where they can stick my money.
A friendly reminder to those who have yet to get your league dues in: get your F^&$#$ league dues in (please)! I know I haven’t been great at reminding people, but we should all know the drill by now. Anyway, without further ado, here are the much anticipated rankings. Feel free to offer your own prognostications, second-guess mine or just bitch about how I vastly overrated/underrated or jinxed your team. Best of luck to all this season.
30. Los Angeles Dodgers
Nick’s rebuild seems to have actually taken a discernable direction this offseason. While I didn’t agree with all of his draft picks, the sheer volume of them, and the other good value pick-ups he’s made will no doubt serve him well in his quest to make a contender out of a bottom feeder. Continued leverage of his financial might and a commitment to the youth movement will undoubtedly improve the Dodgers franchise in the seasons to come.
29. Cincinnati Reds
While I wouldn’t have completely blown up the Redlegs when Gideon did, I admire his total commitment to the process. I’m still pissed that Sale slipped through my fingers into Jordan’s lap, but that’s a personal problem. Anyway, it will be a while before Cincy is back among the league’s elite again, but they’re still in the capable hands of the same guy that made them a perennial World Series contender.
28. San Francisco Giants
It seems like poor Adkins has been languishing away in the mid-late 20’s of our Power Rankings since they first began. It’s becoming a disappointing tradition, like visiting the in-laws. Anyway, one perk for him this year is that he can now begin shopping Justin Verlander’s Expiring Contract, which may finally result in a trade. Either way, I’ll be ecstatic to look at his block and not see Verlander and Jayson Werth anymore after this season. The good news is that he pulled some major talent from the minor league draft, so there’s now officially something to look forward to in San Francisco.
27. Chicago White Sox
Graham’s big offseason gamble was Abreu, who seems to be holding his own with the stick. The power will come, and he’ll be useful so long as he keeps his average above .250. Jonathan Villar is proving an able batsman as well (SSS caveat, obviously), so there are bright spots on offense to compliment their more than respectable starters. Unfortunately, I don’t think it’s possible to right the ship quick enough for those guys to be useful for this team, so trades must be made. Those trades will determine how quickly the South Siders claw their way into contention.
26. Texas Rangers
I think Jared decided to revamp his roster at a very opportune time. His division foes are much better than they’ve ever been, and he was staring at an uphill battle just to sneak into the playoffs last year. While I like most of the additions he’s made to the roster, I don’t see how some of them fit- I’m probably still coping with missing out on one of my top offseason FA targets (Ivan Nova). Jared has built a contender before, and I have little doubt that he’ll do so again.
25. Detroit Tigers
When Dale left the Motor City, the roster was bereft of young talent, which had been unceremoniously sacrificed at every opportunity in the hopes of always winning now. Dingo has made some significant capital commitments in Mauer and Kershaw, but he hasn’t neglected his farm system, which was in serious need of rehabilitation. I think it’ll be a few seasons before the Tigers will be keeping Black Kevin up at night, but sustainable success is more likely with an eye towards acquiring young, protectable talent.
24. Oakland Athletics
Bird has a few nice pieces to build around now, after hitting big on Michael Wacha. While I’m quite sure that Pujols will improve on last year’s production, I’m also quite sure that he won’t be anchoring the A’s first playoff team either. There are some useful players in Oakland, and converting some of those aging role players into prospects and draft picks seems like the best way to construct a consistent winner.
23. Houston Astros
If Oscar Taveras would ever stay healthy enough to get promoted to the bigs, Jon may actually have a stew going in Houston. Erik Johnson and Alex Wood are a great start to a young, cheap, effective rotation, and while Votto and Zimmerman are approaching the decline phase of their careers, they should still be productive long enough for Jon to field a competitor around them. If they can turn some of their temporary closers into permanent, young help, they could join the wildcard discussion in ’15.
22. Philadelphia Phillies
The Phils have had some bad luck. Between them buying a lemon in Miguel Montero (sorry about that), Machado destroying his knee, Middlebrooks’ inconsistency, Dickey shrinking in the brisk Canadian climate, and Uggla being Uggla there hasn’t been much to get excited about. Fortunately, it seems like Josh Hamilton is back to punishing baseballs again, but he can’t carry this team alone. The NL is as weak as it’s been in a long time, and there are plenty of pieces that would be useful on a contender, so all is not lost.
21. Tampa Bay Rays
The Rays flaws include a lack of depth, an Opening Day injury to their 2nd best player, and a brutal division. They do have a major building block in McCutchen, who should be a force for years to come, and a budding ace in Justin Masterson. Toronto seems likely to carry the division for the next half decade or so, but there’s always the wildcard. The Rays are probably a year or two away from contention if all goes well, but the cupboards are not bare in Tampa.
20. Miami Marlins
The Fish are sporting a very atypical cleanup hitter and a closer with a brand new plate in his face. Things could be better in Miami- pitching is woefully lacking outside of Madison Bumgarner- but it’s not all bad. Their offense is interesting, headlined by Altuve, Napoli, and a scorching hot Seth Smith. I don’t think this roster is going to take Lee to the Promised Land, so I’d suggest a rebuild, but there’s just enough so that going for it in a down season in the NL isn’t that crazy.
19. Atlanta Braves
Swo’s team is better than he hoped again this year. Following in the footsteps of the rebuilding pioneers before him, he’s made smart free agent purchases and stocked the farm. He could conceivably be back in contention a year from now, but he needs to get off his ass and make some trades to empty the roster of players who will clearly not be on the next Braves playoff team- Matt Joyce, anyone?
18. Milwaukee Brewers
Somebody needs to tell the Brew Crew that they’re allowed to carry more than a 25 man roster. The guys that they have are very good, there just isn’t enough of them. It’s sad to see a once proud franchise languishing away in mediocrity due to inactivity, but it wouldn’t take much for this team to be 10-12 spots higher on our next list (which will be out around the trade deadline, smartasses).
17. Pittsburgh Pirates
Nobody has a better compilation of starting pitching than the Buccos. Larry is leaning too hard on BJ Upton, who looks hopelessly lost at the plate (even for BJ Upton), and rookie MIs, but his pitching is good enough to keep him at least somewhat competitive. A few smart trades converting starters to bats could take this team from marginally competitive to serious wildcard candidate.
16. Arizona Diamondbacks
I really expected more from you, Tyler. I’m not mad, just disappointed. What happened? I guess prospect attrition is a bitch, because I thought this team would be winning division titles by now. Anyway, the DBacks are still in pretty good shape. I really liked their draft, and think Gausman can be a legitimate ace. I don’t see the playoffs in the cards this year, but this is still a team on the rise.
15. New York Yankees
The Yankees are finally back in capable hands again after several years with no direction and irresponsible contracts- much like the actual Yankees (sans the currently in capable hands part). Their offense is a force to be reckoned with, and they caught a lucky break when KRod was secretly anointed closer in Milwaukee. They still need innings, as Cliff Lee and CJ Wilson can’t carry the staff on their own. I’m sure that need will be addressed, and once it is, they’ll be in the AL Wildcard discussion.
14. New York Mets
The Metropolitans hold the dubious honor of leading the league in DL stints in consecutive years. As such, it’s only fitting that his prized offseason acquisition would fall victim to a phallic injury. This is the most impressive roster that the Mets have ever had, and though the Nats are strong, they’re not bulletproof. If they can keep guys off the shelf, they’ve got enough talent to surprise people and finally nab a coveted playoff spot.
13. Chicago Cubs
This is ‘Next Year’ for these Cubs. The division has never been weaker (it’s still pretty strong), and Scott has another playoff caliber team. They need to catch some breaks on offense, and a Neftali Feliz promotion would really help, but this could be the year they FINALLY reach the playoffs. Tyler Flowers is probably not going to win the batting title, so they should really try to acquire another functional bat or two, but the Cards are vulnerable, the Brewers are MIA, and the NL is down. I, for one, am pulling for the Cubbies.
12. Minnesota Twins
Mike really would have benefitted from participating in offseason free agency. He’s had a supremely talented team for quite a while now, and I’ve been expecting them to challenge Black Kevin these past two seasons. Prospect attrition set him back a bit, but there are few teams in the league with a brighter future than Minnesota’s. This team doesn’t need much, just a few serviceable depth pieces.
11. Baltimore Orioles
The Orioles are on pace to lose 52 closers this season. That’s a problem, especially considering the AL East has become the strongest division in the league. Patrick had his club ready for contention, but making up the 15 or so points he stands to lose from said injuries/surprise demotions will be difficult to say the least. It’s not all that grim, though. Through 2 starts, Scott Feldman looks like the free agent signing of the offseason. He’ll need 25 more starts like that to help keep a very thin pitching staff afloat. Never count out such a talented team so early in the season, but things looked a lot better when I started compiling this list a few days ago.
10. St. Louis Cardinals
The Cards offense is stacked, especially if Gyorko and/or Desmond Jennings take the proverbial next step, but will that be enough to fend off the rest of a still-respectable NL Cenral with a severely deficient pitching staff? Big Game James is no Old Hoss Radbourn, so either Yovani Gallardo finds the 2 missing miles per hour on his fastball and Harang asks Bartolo Colon about his anti-aging clinic, or the Red Birds will need to bring in reinforcements. With another 2-3 arms, this team is about as likely as anyone in the NL to find themselves in the hunt for a title.
9. Los Angeles Angels
The Angels are under new and capable management. Unfortunately, that coincides with the emergence of a new juggernaut in the division. John will have is work cut out for him if he’s going to take this team to a second consecutive playoff berth. Matt Kemp needs to stay healthy and be somewhat productive for them to have a chance, because I, for one, don’t buy into the whole Emilio-Bonifacio-is-the-next-Barry-Bonds hype. They should at least challenge the second tier teams in the AL for the wildcard.
8. Washington Nationals
There are 12 categories in this league, and approximately half of them are at least loosely based on the quality of your pitching staff. That’s the only worry for the Nats, who lay claim to possibly the most potent offense in the league. These guys will hit, and while they have a respectable quantity of arms, they could conceivably end up with a combined 15 points in ERA and WHIP. It’s not completely Cork’s fault, as Ron Roenicke callously cut his closer supply in half (especially discouraging when the other half is Axford) when he relegated Jim Henderson to the 8th inning, but an extra closer wasn’t fixing the problem by himself. I fully expect him to address his glaring deficiency, because if he doesn’t, this could be the year the Mets sneak past him into the playoffs.
7. Colorado Rockies
It’s spring, and my new favorite spring pastime is when Kyle announces to the league that he’s going to grace us with his glorious presence. Promising us it’s different this time. Promising us he’s going to spend more time with us and less with his precious family. Promising us Avatar Rankings. Like a chump I buy in with my whole heart, and invariably his immediate absence mercilessly crushes my soul like a rodent beneath the tire of an 18 wheeler on the highway. Stop crushing my soul, Kyle!
P.S. Please come back, Swo is a mess without you.
P.P.S. Your team is pretty decent.
6. San Diego Padres
The Pads still have Mike Trout. In other news, the Pads are still very good. I really like this team and expect them to again take home the NL West crown, despite a solid, and hopefully more present, Rockies club. Ivory Kevin really just needs to get healthy. A healthy Hamels and Griffin come playoff time (especially if Kazmir stays intact) make this team an exceptionally tough opponent, and the class of the NL in my opinion.
5. Boston Red Sox
I have no offensive depth. My starting pitching depresses me. There’s very little imminent help in my minors. But hey, I’ve got relievers out the ass, so I’ve got that going for me. Which is nice. In short, I screwed the pooch in free agency: didn’t spend enough on starters, had way too much money left to spend when relievers came up for bid. At which point I acted as impulsively as my wife at an Ann Taylor sale. Soooo, if anybody needs some middling relief help, I know a guy.
4. Cleveland Indians
The Tribe have been slowly on the path to recovery under former GM Robin’s stewardship, and now Ryan’s, after the infamous Grady Sizemore deal. Could the Indians poetically make the playoffs the same year that Sizemore becomes a thing again? This is a team that I’ve followed pretty closely over the past few seasons, and I really think this is the year they make the leap. The AL is stacked this year, and I don’t see them catching up with the Royals, so they’ll have (hopefully) a difficult struggle with my Red Sox for the lone wildcard spot.
3. Seattle Mariners
Mike didn’t write the book on efficient rebuilds, but he certainly studied and executed it in short order. After a few years of expertly leveraging cap space, shrewd free agent signings, quality drafts, and contract structures, he should win the division this year over a very competitive Angels squad. I’m curious to see how we evaluate the Cano deal in 6 years, as it could prove to be his Achilles heel. It could also put him over the top, so it’s easy to justify, but if his production evaporates in Safeco’s cavernous outfield, it would be a huge setback.
2. Kansas City Royals
Another year, another top flight contender in Kansas City. BK knows better than anyone the value of depth, and he’s constructed another roster than should coast into an ALCS date with our league’s top team. I won’t pat him on the back too much, since it’s probably sore from doing so himself, but I will say that Billy Burns is quite probably the single greatest draft pick there ever was and ever shall be. Amen.
1. Toronto Blue Jays
The damn Canadians have become the class of the league, and with all due respect to Ebony Kevin and the rest of the peons that follow, it’s not really close. While it pains me to admit that we live in a world where Canada has overtaken us, it’s undeniable. Jordan has assembled an incredibly talented, well balanced roster with depth for days. For my money, (most of which is in an envelope en route to the fine gentlemen at the Atlanta branch of the Internal Revenue Service) this is the best roster our league has ever seen. If anyone other than the Jays wins the league this year, he should commit Harry Caray.s
