Post by Deleted on Aug 17, 2009 23:44:43 GMT -5
Chin Music Avatar Power Rankings: 2009 Trade Deadline (#2)
The one and only, back! Who is on the rise? Who has fallen the furthest? Who gives a shit? All these answers... and more! (With previous Avatar Power Ranking in parentheses, and links directly to the avatars this time.)
*Heavy Sigh*/Why Do I Bother?
Goddammit. The first time, sure, who knew anyone would be sweet enough to actually follow through with an avatar ranking? But that was like five months ago. So here's to teams that personally hate me and continue to make these rankings that much more boring. Just... d**n...
32. (32) Astros
31. (29) Dodgers
30. (28) Mets
29. (27) Pirates
28. (26) Tigers
27. (25) Twins
26. (24) White Sox
25. (23) Yankees
Keeping It Real!/My Team Has A Logo Like This Logo!
To those who understand avatars exist, yet clearly don't give an actual shit.
24. (20) Padres
23. (19) MLBPA
22. (18) Rangers
21. (17) Rays
20. (16) Giants
19. (8) Angels (Roger)
Riddle Me This
Five months later, my brain still cannot process this image. I don't know that it wants to, but it haunts me when I close my eyes. And I sleep A LOT. See you tonight, my sweet dancing strawberry turd thingie.
18. (15) Mariners
You Think You're Too Good To Update Your Avatar?/Intervention Time
Maybe you thought you could sit back on your laurels with your comfy pre-season ranking. Maybe you really think that avatar is that sweet. Maybe you're just giving the world enough time to appreciate the true genius of your avatar selection. No matter the case, your lazy ass bullshit will not be tolerated in here, and as such, you cannot be ranked higher than those who have updated since last time. Harsh, yes. But let this be a lesson, because chances are your avatar is better than those ranked ahead of you (I mean way better, some of the next few are truly awful).
That being said, we're all here because we care about you. But we can no longer enable your slothful avatar behavior. Your non avatar updating has affected me in the following ways...
17. (12) Blue Jays
16. (11) Cardinals
15. (10) Rockies
14. (6) Admin
Jokes About A Dead Guy/Too Soon?
I'm pretty sure Adenhart is fair game at this point, sadly I don't have a single funny thing to say. On top of that, the avatar is boring. So, Nick Adenhart, he lives on in avatar form as he did in life, boring? Hilarious.
13. (14) Royals
Up, Up, Down, Down.../Justin Bailey
I just do not care for Street Fighter. Fact.
12. (21) Nationals
40 oz. To Mediocrity/Might As Well Be A Bull's-Eye
Another, "eh" smack dab in the middle of the rankings. It does rank this high though because someone made the fantastic tattoo/"baby batter" comment about it months ago. And a special moment like that, I'll take with me always. (On a slightly related note, what in the hell is the proper spelling of bull's eye? My brain red ringed trying to figure that one out.)
11. (2) Cubs
Hey, Remember The 80's?/The Early 90's Too?
Neeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrddddd!!! Also, everybody if you can do the Bartman. (Says the guy making fun of the 80's avatars 30 seconds after using two 80's video game codes as a joke. Who's cool now?)
10. (22) Orioles
9. (9) Athletics
And now I proudly present the...
2009 Chin Music Avatar Playoffs/You're The Best... Around!
8. (31) Brewers - As far as mascot related avatars go, this one is outstandingly creepy. The mascot itself is an architectural wonder of foam and moustache. And the picture is too d**n close for comfort, making for a wild card worthy avatar.
7. (30) Diamondbacks - As far as tribute avatars go, we're getting much warmer. Wonder where it would have landed had Billy not had a smorgasbord of drugs available to him? Me too, me too... that's it. Move on.
6. (1) Reds - Animated avatars make up the bulk of the playoffs, and this is the man to thank for that. Setting an incredibly high bar the first time around, there was really nowhere to go but down. I do like watching people get injured/maimed, but as I stated last time around, god I love when it's old people taking it. Undeniably wild card worthy, but it seems his avatar selection may have peeked too early this season.
5. (4) Marlins - I may be splitting hairs here. Animated animals taking people out. What moves the Marlins ahead of the Reds though is that kangaroo's intent. Watch it again. That bastard sets up behind that guy and loads up, double pump style. Not content to just kick a dude into the water, that kangaroo had clearly been wronged by the gentleman in question, and had been waiting for this one perfect moment. And there it was. And here are the Marlins (back in the top five no less!).
4. (7) Braves - Wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tube man! Wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tube man! Swo may not have the most avatar talent out there, but dammit, he tries harder than anyone else out there. He's like the Rudy of avatars. If instead of playing football, Rudy dreamed of getting banged by Jordan Schafer.
3. (3) Phillies - I'll admit, it's very possible I love this far more than I should. Still, I love it a great deal. The fat man's natural enemy... running. Falling, always funny. But falling, attempting to get back up and crumpling in pain? Top three funny. (Back to back third place finishes. Your chest must be exceptionally hairy sir.)
2. (13) Indians - Upset of the year? Out of nowhere, the Indians bring a level of, what I'm gonna call, "creepy-fantastic" like we've never seen here in Chin Music. I love the tiny avatar image, I love the full size image. I'm pretty sure it's the best image avatar we've seen in Chin Music to date. My favorite part? The tiny avatar image, I really think it looks like he's using a garbage can lid as a shield. So look at it with that in mind. A giant baseball player inexplicably posing half nude with a garbage can lid for a shield. Perfect.
You Ever See A Baby Do That?/Thanks A Lot Bin Laden
1. (5) Red Sox - Listen, we all knew this race was over the second Ty popped this thing up there. It was a one horse race, and that horse also happened to be a robot. Praise be to Carlos, perhaps the finest comedic child actor of our time. A d**n robot horse I tell you, good luck racing that f**k*r.
So congratulations to Ty! Owner of the greatest avatar in Chin Music, 2009 Trade Deadline (#2)!
