8th Annual Wrestlemania Preview!
Apr 3, 2019 11:08:36 GMT -5
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Post by D Backs GM (Tyler) on Apr 3, 2019 11:08:36 GMT -5
Welcome to the 8th (Jesus what am I doing with my life) annual Wrestlemania Preview.
Where grown ass men pretend to get emotionally invested in the worlds strangest variety show. Only then they do get invested because wrestling is fun. Anyway, there are 15 matches this year but before we get to the card there are a few points to make about current day WWE for those who haven’t watched since the “good old days” of The Rock and Stone Cold.
1. Women’s wrestling is 100% different now. They can actually go, and they’re fantastic. So much so that they will be the closing match this year. More on that later.
2. This year I have purposely avoided all spoilers and rumors about winners, real life drama, etc. This is 100% in storyline. It is far more enjoyable that way I have found. HOWEVER, the one thing that is public the tI do know is that Smackdown is moving to Fox this year. Meaning they have to actually try and have 2 good shows instead of Raw always being better than Smackdown.
3. There is this thing called NXT that is owned by the WWE as kind of a minor league. However, the lines are growing blurrier between NXT and Raw and Smackdown. If you want a manageable amount of wrestling that you are definitely going to enjoy, watch NXTSaturday FRIDAY night, not Wrestlemania. Its FAR shorter and higher quality. But less stars. I promise it is a better use of your life. Quick sample:
4. Wrestlemania is a marathon slog that begins (pre show) at 5pm and goes til likely past 11PM EST. Do not feel the need to watch it all. You’ll light yourself on fire like Cactus Jack. Just watch what you want and skip what you don’t.
5. There is a split roster now between RAW, Smackdown, and NXT…. But it isn’t strictly adhered to.
Ok now that that is out of the way, your host for this years wrestlemania is none other than Alexa Bliss. Incredibly good looking and outstanding on the mic, she is the perfect host really. Especially since her injury history has forced her to slow a bit in the ring lately. There are two “celeb cameos”: The hosts of SNL’s Weekend Update Colin Jost and Michael Che. Big gets for the WWE. More on them later since they are in a match. As always we will go from (what I think is) least important to most important matches. Fair warning, this write up (like Mania itself) will be a slog. Feel free to skip at your leisure. I’ll try to format it in a skippable way, but also I’ll include some videos to keep it interesting hopefully.
Pre-Show Matches (maybe… I think)
Buddy Murphy (c) vs. Tony Nese
Singles match for the WWE Cruiserweight Championship
So the cruiserweight division is separate from the 5 “normal” hours of WWE TV every week (3 hour raw, 2 hour smackdown) and to be honest, I do not have THAT much free time where I can watch a 6th hour even with the DVR fast forward magic. I can tell you that there has been a cruiserweight march madness tournament to get to these two in the finals and the cruiserweights always put on great matches because they are athletic as hell and willing to take changes to get themselves noticed. Should be a fun one, but I don’t really know what to tell you.
Prediction - Buddy Murphy wins (I guess)
Follow up - No idea. Don’t care. Won’t see it.
WrestleMania Women's Battle Royal
Battle royal for the WrestleMania Women's Battle Royal Trophy
Unlucky for the women’s BR to fall so far down the card, but that is just a symptom of a women’s division that isn’t fully blossomed yet. Only recently did WWE start to take women seriously as wrestlers, and it takes time to build characters and stories. There are really a lot of good women in this including Asuka who got really hosed out of her match this mania. We will cover that down the line though since it is really more part of the main event story. She is badass though. I would imagine there are a few NXT people filling this one out as well since there are only 13 announced entrants so far. Shout out to Bianca Bellair and Rea Ripley if they end up in this. Two MAJOR stars in the making who aren’t quite ready yet. Bellair has a long braid she literally uses to whip people with while wrestling and Ripley is the closest thing to Chyna they have ever had. A true monster who is great at playing one. She is currently in NXT UK (their local UK division).
Prediction - Asuka
Follow up - There won’t be one really. Back to business as usual trying ti build stars and stories for the lower levels of the women’s division.
The Usos (Jey Uso and Jimmy Uso) (c) vs. Ricochet and Aleister Black vs. The Bar (Cesaro and Sheamus) vs. Shinsuke Nakamura and Rusev
Fatal four-way tag team match for the WWE SmackDown Tag Team Championship
The real story here is Ricochet and Aleister Black. Two fresh out of NXT guys who are both mega mega stars in the making. If you haven’t watched in a while, Ricochet is basically Jeff Hardy X10 athleticism. He is far and away the best athlete who has ever wrestled. Here is a highlight reel just from his brief time in NXT:
That is a top 40, starting at 20. If you like what you see, these two have a match for the NXT Tag Titles Saturday night on the NXT Takeover PPV.
Black is a tatted up badass silent killer type who is just great both on the mic and in ring and looks like his spinning back kick (Black Mass) actually hurts people. These two will be way higher up the card next year. For now, this will be a nice showcase on the main roster and their first taste of mania. It is worth mentioning that every wrestler in this match is far overqualified for a pre-show tag team match. But that is the state of the current WWE roster. Nakamura was and would again be a headliner in any other company, hear, he is a pre-show guy. The same can be said for the Bar and Rusev. Its a good problem to have, but still kind of a problem.
Prediction - Usos Retain
Follow up - Nothing significant. Tag teams will get shuffled around in the draft a month later and no long term stories will come of this.
Samoa Joe (c) vs. Rey Mysterio
Singles match for the WWE United States Championship
A bit harsh to put it on the pre-show but it has to be done. Joe and Rey will have a great match no doubt, but the stakes are low and the story has been “meh” coming into this one. It seems an awful lot like Joe was in the title picture not too long ago and instead of justifying another random singles match, they lowered him down to the US Title and then used it to justify getting these two on the card. Fair enough, I just don’t care. I think Joe is one of the best promo’s in the business and its a shame he isn’t on a longer leash and higher up the card. Although I do see it happening for at least a few months again this year like it did last year. Here is Joe tearing apart half the Smackdown roster on the mic:
Prediction - Samoa Joe
Follow up - He drops the title to someone more appropriate soon and moves up. Hopefully one of the rising star NXT guys. EC3?
The Main Card Matches
Roman Reigns vs. Drew McIntyre
Singles match
For the last 4 years I have written about how Roman was being forced on everyone and the crowd was universally rejecting him. Well this year this happened:
Not storyline. He left for months for treatment, maybe never to return again. The good news is about 6 weeks ago he came back and was cleared and healthy again to wrestle. With this roller coaster of emotions and storytelling, WWE has toned down the “Roman always to the top”-ness and the crowd is back on his side, for now. If this is just a quick pit stop back to the top of the card then I really think they will turn on him, cancer or not. But for now, lets all cheer and feel good about a real life overcoming of the odds story and enjoy the fact that this man beat cancer twice to be here and live his dream.
Prediction - Roman wins
Follow up - No idea. If WWE is confident in his health, he will go right back to the top. If they play it safe (which they should) and not put too much on him too fast, then I’d like to see him just make some dream matches as a “I don’t know how long I’ll be here so I want to do it my way” type story. It’d be neat and he could face mega-stars without getting the crowd rejection.
André the Giant Memorial Battle Royal
Battle royal for the André the Giant Memorial Trophy
This one only makes it onto the main card by the skin of its celebrity teeth. Here is the only story at all in a match featuring 29 people:
That’s right. Braun Strowman is going to tear SNL stars apart. Yay? This is a criminal use of Strowman, who at one point could have been the next Lesnar. Instead, they made it a big joke. However, anytime they need to he is fully able to just destroy shit until he gets what he wants. So lets hope that is coming Monday, or sometime soon at least.
Prediction - Strowman in under 10 minutes with a dusting of comedy.
Follow up - None. This match has never mattered to the winner and it will continue to be a joke of a way to get people without anything to do on the card to get that payday.
Bobby Lashley (c) vs. Finn Bálor
Singles match for the WWE Intercontinental Championship
This is so dumb. So dumb. For those who haven’t kept up all year, Fill Balor has been as high up the card as facing Brock Lesnar for the title. EVEN in that match, he did not use “The Demon” paint. He is unbeaten in the paint. The paint is awesome. But WWE has no logic on when it is deployed. This is not a blood feud, its just a normal IC Title match. However, Finn is going full paint for it. Really it is just to get the paint for the cool Mania entrance. But it’s just stupid. There is no logic to him having it for this 10 minute filler match and not for his title shot. I’m bitter and confused, and Finn comes off stupid. Bobby Lashley is a gigantic roiled up dude who can’t talk or really put together a match, but Fill can carry anyone to an entertaining one and he is giant enough to pose a threat.
Prediction - Finn Balor. There is no way they blow the demon on a loss to Lashley for an IC belt.
Follow up - Hopefully Lashley is gone soon. He is boring and takes up a spot on the upper card that should belong to someone far more entertaining.
Shane McMahon vs. The Miz
Falls Count Anywhere match
Now THIS is how you build a feud. For this we need to go back to Saudi Arabia (yes, you heard that right). WWE took a lot of shady money this year to put on big events for rich people in need of propaganda in Saudi Arabia. That included a tournament mostly filled with older big names (Orton, Hardy, Mysterio, etc) which the winner was going to be known as “Best in the World”. The Miz won the first two rounds but “injured” himself in the process of winning the semifinal. In steps Shane-O-Mac to win the final even though he didn’t earn his way there and he was in charge of the tournament but whatever, logic isn’t a thing so lets move on. Anyway, “they” won and spent the next few months as tag team partners, even capturing the gold together in a feel good story of strange bedfellows. Eventually last month Shane turned on Miz to set up this match. In doing so he said a lot of things you really hope are storyline about the Miz’s family situation and the Miz insisted on a falls count anywhere match.
Prediction - Shane is jumping off some shit and missing… leading to a Miz victory.
Follow up - Mutual respect between the two for doing crazy shit in the ring and going their separate storyline ways.
Daniel Bryan (c) vs. Kofi Kingston
Singles match for the WWE Championship
The first match with a beefy main event story built out around it. Kofi is a long serving member of the roster who never got near the top. Then he stepped in for an injured Mustafa Ali at a PPV and captured the hearts of the fans. Since then, the fans have basically demanded he face Bryan for the belt at mania. Here is the recap of all the things they have overcome to get there:
I say “they” because Kingston’s pals in the New Day have put their careers on hold for Kofi to have this title shot. It has been an awesome ride and I am really looking forward to this match.
ALSO: It is worth noting that in the long history of the WWE/F there has never been a black champion. The Rock kind of counts, but that is as close as anyone gets. He is Samoan. Kofi has alluded to Vince “never giving people like me a chance” and it is definitely what he is talking about. This in the wake of the Hogan drama recently, is really pretty crazy that it is part of the story.
Prediction - Has to be Kofi. Modern WWE is so careful with being PC and marketing and stuff it just has to be. And really, he has earned it.
Follow Up - This is the best part. If they do pull the trigger, there is a built in story of the New Day supporting him for a while while he beats up the contenders, then grows jealous of him putting himself before the group and suddenly there are three mega stars in the making with a long term story blood feud…. So yeah, Daniel Bryan will probably win actually, that makes too much sense.
AJ Styles vs. Randy Orton
Singles match
The best “normal” match on the card. These two don’t really have a story outside of the fact that they are huge stars and amazing in ring and didn’t have anything else to do. So why not? Give em 20 minutes and watch them have match of the night. Not much else to say here.
Prediction - Orton with some crazy RKO like this one:
Follow up - None really. Both headliners looking for new feuds.
Kurt Angle vs. Baron Corbin
Singles match
Angle’s farewell match
Your Olympic Hero is one of the few remaining Attitude Era stars still active and this will be his last match. It has been weeks of a send off and he can’t really go anymore. Countless neck injuries have taken their toll but it’ll be a nice 5 minute match to say goodbye. Baron Corbin is literally nobody and doesn’t deserve this. Which is why I believe a conspicuously absent John Cena will find a way into this match instead of Corbin. Cena once upon a time made his WWE debut against Kurt Angle and it would be a very fitting way to send Angle off right in a big Mania match.
Prediction - Cena wins
Follow up - Goodbye sweet prince:
Bayley and Sasha Banks (c) vs. The Divas of Doom (Beth Phoenix and Natalya) vs. The Iconics vs. Nia Jax and Tamina
Fatal four-way tag team match for the WWE Women's Tag Team Championship
The newly formed Women’s Tag Team division is certainly star studded. The current champs are Sasha and Bayley and they are two of the “Four Horsewomen” of the WWE. Widely regarded as the 4 most talented female wrestlers alive (the other two are in the main event; Charlotte Flair and Becky Lynch), these two should end the night with the titles and continue their reign atop the women’s tag division… at least for now. Nia and Tamina are the big baddies the Iconics are a comedy tag team who are actually a pre-made tag team and actually funny. Divas of Doom are a throwback for 10 years ago. All of these come together for a Banks and Bayley win.
Prediction - Sasha and Bayley retain.
Follow up - These two continue to hold up the tag division until WWE develops it further. This belt is defended on NXT as well and no one else is well enough equipped to do that than these two NXT darlings who might have the title of best NXT match ever as well:
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Triple H vs. Batista
No Holds Barred match
If Triple H loses, he must retire from in-ring competition
Apparently Batista has wanted to return to WWE for a while and WWE has said their all set with him and his services. This was rumored for a few years now. So Batista just keeps doing movies. However, that all changed a month ago when WWE was celebrating Ric Flair’s birthday:
That is the set up for this match. Batista wants to fight HHH and HHH is up for it. Batista “hates” HHH and wants to end his career, so he got him to put his in ring career on the line. I’m going the other way here and thinking this is actually the end for HHH. He runs NXT and is really close to running WWE himself in the near future when Vince retires/dies. This could well be the end for the 49 year old.
Prediction - Batista wins, HHH retires
Follow up - Maybe a speech on raw? Likely not much to be honest. He isn’t the future in the ring, but he will be around for a long time in his behind the scenes role.
Brock Lesnar (c) vs. Seth Rollins
Singles match for the WWE Universal Championship
This year’s Rumble winner Rollins chose to fight Brock to try to bring the title back to full time TV. As it stands now, the show revolves around…. Something? But Brock is very rarely around outside of the big 4 PPVs and really, they need that title back on TV. We have said this for years and for years Brock just squashes everyone. BUT Seth Rollins cashed in Money in the Bank and won the title in the main event of Mania years ago in a match Brock was involved in. Technically he has taken the title off Brock once already at mania… a feat that not many can claim especially lately.
Prediction - Seth Rollins
Follow up - Rollins goes on a big run as the champ. He is probably the best wrestler alive and has been for a year or so now. The man is electric. Let him go with it.
Ronda Rousey (c; Raw) vs. Charlotte Flair (c; SmackDown) vs. Becky Lynch
Winner takes all triple threat match for both the WWE Raw Women's Championship and the WWE SmackDown Women's Championship
As discussed before, Becky and Charlotte were 2/4 of the 4 best women’s wrestlers alive. However, none of those four have the real life street cred that Rousey does. She has been great since she arrived in the WWE last year. But lets not kid ourselves… this story is about Becky Lynch. Her rocket ship ascent to fan favorite at the top of the card began at Summerslam. She had a match for the Smackdown Women’s title that she earned through a qualifying match. Charlotte was added to the match, detracting from Becky chances in spite of them being “best friends” at the time. Charlotte won, and after the match Becky went ballistic on her:
A few months later, Becky had taken the title from Charlotte after WWE tried to make her the bad guy but fans adored her for finally showing some edge to her character. Everything was lining up for a massive match at Survivor Series where she was to go 1 on 1 with Rousey in a champion vs champion match. During an episode of Raw where Smackdown invaded and ambushed the Raw women, Becky took out Rousey and in the middle of taking out the other women, got real life punched in the face suffering a broken nose and concussion days before the big match:
(one of the all time badass moments was her standing in the crowd, blood everywhere, with her arms out asking for more: pbs.twimg.com/media/Dr3OKzfW4AEP9wy.jpg )
Becky reluctantly had to select her replacement for the Rousey match and chose Charlotte out of respect and hope that she could beat Rousey and defend Smackdown’s honor.
Ronda said she would get payback for the attack and later costs both Becky and Charlotte their Smackdown title at TLC when she interfered and allowed Asuka to take the crown from them. Heading into the rumble, Becky was slated to face Asuka for the title and Charlotte to be in the rumble. Asuka beat Becky and late in the Rumble, Becky was a shock surprise entrant and ended up winning the Rumble and injuring herself in the process. Regardless of her injury, she wanted Rousey at mania.
Since then there have been a few feigned attempts to get her out of the picture by the powers that be and to get Charlotte into the match (the chosen one). But Becky refuses to take no for an answer and neither will her fans going ballistic in the crowd. So here we are with a triple threat match.
Oh, and one week before Mania in a surprise random match, Charlotte beat Asuka for the belt so that now both titles are on the line. Horrible treatment of a major talent for Asuka, but ultimately just another addition to this incredible story that will now unify the women’s title.
All that is to say that this has been a long time coming and a TON of focus has been on this for months and months. It shows as well, as this is the first time women with headline mania and it does not feel forced even a little. These three deserve it, and most of all, Becky Lynch deserves it. She is probably the hottest women’s wrestler ever and is immensely talented in and out of the ring.
Prediction - Becky Lynch
Follow up - No idea really. Unified titles are tricky. Who cares though, this is the peak of the mountain.
Enjoy it fellas, see you next year.
Where grown ass men pretend to get emotionally invested in the worlds strangest variety show. Only then they do get invested because wrestling is fun. Anyway, there are 15 matches this year but before we get to the card there are a few points to make about current day WWE for those who haven’t watched since the “good old days” of The Rock and Stone Cold.
1. Women’s wrestling is 100% different now. They can actually go, and they’re fantastic. So much so that they will be the closing match this year. More on that later.
2. This year I have purposely avoided all spoilers and rumors about winners, real life drama, etc. This is 100% in storyline. It is far more enjoyable that way I have found. HOWEVER, the one thing that is public the tI do know is that Smackdown is moving to Fox this year. Meaning they have to actually try and have 2 good shows instead of Raw always being better than Smackdown.
3. There is this thing called NXT that is owned by the WWE as kind of a minor league. However, the lines are growing blurrier between NXT and Raw and Smackdown. If you want a manageable amount of wrestling that you are definitely going to enjoy, watch NXT
4. Wrestlemania is a marathon slog that begins (pre show) at 5pm and goes til likely past 11PM EST. Do not feel the need to watch it all. You’ll light yourself on fire like Cactus Jack. Just watch what you want and skip what you don’t.
5. There is a split roster now between RAW, Smackdown, and NXT…. But it isn’t strictly adhered to.
Ok now that that is out of the way, your host for this years wrestlemania is none other than Alexa Bliss. Incredibly good looking and outstanding on the mic, she is the perfect host really. Especially since her injury history has forced her to slow a bit in the ring lately. There are two “celeb cameos”: The hosts of SNL’s Weekend Update Colin Jost and Michael Che. Big gets for the WWE. More on them later since they are in a match. As always we will go from (what I think is) least important to most important matches. Fair warning, this write up (like Mania itself) will be a slog. Feel free to skip at your leisure. I’ll try to format it in a skippable way, but also I’ll include some videos to keep it interesting hopefully.
Pre-Show Matches (maybe… I think)
Buddy Murphy (c) vs. Tony Nese
Singles match for the WWE Cruiserweight Championship
So the cruiserweight division is separate from the 5 “normal” hours of WWE TV every week (3 hour raw, 2 hour smackdown) and to be honest, I do not have THAT much free time where I can watch a 6th hour even with the DVR fast forward magic. I can tell you that there has been a cruiserweight march madness tournament to get to these two in the finals and the cruiserweights always put on great matches because they are athletic as hell and willing to take changes to get themselves noticed. Should be a fun one, but I don’t really know what to tell you.
Prediction - Buddy Murphy wins (I guess)
Follow up - No idea. Don’t care. Won’t see it.
WrestleMania Women's Battle Royal
Battle royal for the WrestleMania Women's Battle Royal Trophy
Unlucky for the women’s BR to fall so far down the card, but that is just a symptom of a women’s division that isn’t fully blossomed yet. Only recently did WWE start to take women seriously as wrestlers, and it takes time to build characters and stories. There are really a lot of good women in this including Asuka who got really hosed out of her match this mania. We will cover that down the line though since it is really more part of the main event story. She is badass though. I would imagine there are a few NXT people filling this one out as well since there are only 13 announced entrants so far. Shout out to Bianca Bellair and Rea Ripley if they end up in this. Two MAJOR stars in the making who aren’t quite ready yet. Bellair has a long braid she literally uses to whip people with while wrestling and Ripley is the closest thing to Chyna they have ever had. A true monster who is great at playing one. She is currently in NXT UK (their local UK division).
Prediction - Asuka
Follow up - There won’t be one really. Back to business as usual trying ti build stars and stories for the lower levels of the women’s division.
The Usos (Jey Uso and Jimmy Uso) (c) vs. Ricochet and Aleister Black vs. The Bar (Cesaro and Sheamus) vs. Shinsuke Nakamura and Rusev
Fatal four-way tag team match for the WWE SmackDown Tag Team Championship
The real story here is Ricochet and Aleister Black. Two fresh out of NXT guys who are both mega mega stars in the making. If you haven’t watched in a while, Ricochet is basically Jeff Hardy X10 athleticism. He is far and away the best athlete who has ever wrestled. Here is a highlight reel just from his brief time in NXT:
That is a top 40, starting at 20. If you like what you see, these two have a match for the NXT Tag Titles Saturday night on the NXT Takeover PPV.
Black is a tatted up badass silent killer type who is just great both on the mic and in ring and looks like his spinning back kick (Black Mass) actually hurts people. These two will be way higher up the card next year. For now, this will be a nice showcase on the main roster and their first taste of mania. It is worth mentioning that every wrestler in this match is far overqualified for a pre-show tag team match. But that is the state of the current WWE roster. Nakamura was and would again be a headliner in any other company, hear, he is a pre-show guy. The same can be said for the Bar and Rusev. Its a good problem to have, but still kind of a problem.
Prediction - Usos Retain
Follow up - Nothing significant. Tag teams will get shuffled around in the draft a month later and no long term stories will come of this.
Samoa Joe (c) vs. Rey Mysterio
Singles match for the WWE United States Championship
A bit harsh to put it on the pre-show but it has to be done. Joe and Rey will have a great match no doubt, but the stakes are low and the story has been “meh” coming into this one. It seems an awful lot like Joe was in the title picture not too long ago and instead of justifying another random singles match, they lowered him down to the US Title and then used it to justify getting these two on the card. Fair enough, I just don’t care. I think Joe is one of the best promo’s in the business and its a shame he isn’t on a longer leash and higher up the card. Although I do see it happening for at least a few months again this year like it did last year. Here is Joe tearing apart half the Smackdown roster on the mic:
Prediction - Samoa Joe
Follow up - He drops the title to someone more appropriate soon and moves up. Hopefully one of the rising star NXT guys. EC3?
The Main Card Matches
Roman Reigns vs. Drew McIntyre
Singles match
For the last 4 years I have written about how Roman was being forced on everyone and the crowd was universally rejecting him. Well this year this happened:
Not storyline. He left for months for treatment, maybe never to return again. The good news is about 6 weeks ago he came back and was cleared and healthy again to wrestle. With this roller coaster of emotions and storytelling, WWE has toned down the “Roman always to the top”-ness and the crowd is back on his side, for now. If this is just a quick pit stop back to the top of the card then I really think they will turn on him, cancer or not. But for now, lets all cheer and feel good about a real life overcoming of the odds story and enjoy the fact that this man beat cancer twice to be here and live his dream.
Prediction - Roman wins
Follow up - No idea. If WWE is confident in his health, he will go right back to the top. If they play it safe (which they should) and not put too much on him too fast, then I’d like to see him just make some dream matches as a “I don’t know how long I’ll be here so I want to do it my way” type story. It’d be neat and he could face mega-stars without getting the crowd rejection.
André the Giant Memorial Battle Royal
Battle royal for the André the Giant Memorial Trophy
This one only makes it onto the main card by the skin of its celebrity teeth. Here is the only story at all in a match featuring 29 people:
That’s right. Braun Strowman is going to tear SNL stars apart. Yay? This is a criminal use of Strowman, who at one point could have been the next Lesnar. Instead, they made it a big joke. However, anytime they need to he is fully able to just destroy shit until he gets what he wants. So lets hope that is coming Monday, or sometime soon at least.
Prediction - Strowman in under 10 minutes with a dusting of comedy.
Follow up - None. This match has never mattered to the winner and it will continue to be a joke of a way to get people without anything to do on the card to get that payday.
Bobby Lashley (c) vs. Finn Bálor
Singles match for the WWE Intercontinental Championship
This is so dumb. So dumb. For those who haven’t kept up all year, Fill Balor has been as high up the card as facing Brock Lesnar for the title. EVEN in that match, he did not use “The Demon” paint. He is unbeaten in the paint. The paint is awesome. But WWE has no logic on when it is deployed. This is not a blood feud, its just a normal IC Title match. However, Finn is going full paint for it. Really it is just to get the paint for the cool Mania entrance. But it’s just stupid. There is no logic to him having it for this 10 minute filler match and not for his title shot. I’m bitter and confused, and Finn comes off stupid. Bobby Lashley is a gigantic roiled up dude who can’t talk or really put together a match, but Fill can carry anyone to an entertaining one and he is giant enough to pose a threat.
Prediction - Finn Balor. There is no way they blow the demon on a loss to Lashley for an IC belt.
Follow up - Hopefully Lashley is gone soon. He is boring and takes up a spot on the upper card that should belong to someone far more entertaining.
Shane McMahon vs. The Miz
Falls Count Anywhere match
Now THIS is how you build a feud. For this we need to go back to Saudi Arabia (yes, you heard that right). WWE took a lot of shady money this year to put on big events for rich people in need of propaganda in Saudi Arabia. That included a tournament mostly filled with older big names (Orton, Hardy, Mysterio, etc) which the winner was going to be known as “Best in the World”. The Miz won the first two rounds but “injured” himself in the process of winning the semifinal. In steps Shane-O-Mac to win the final even though he didn’t earn his way there and he was in charge of the tournament but whatever, logic isn’t a thing so lets move on. Anyway, “they” won and spent the next few months as tag team partners, even capturing the gold together in a feel good story of strange bedfellows. Eventually last month Shane turned on Miz to set up this match. In doing so he said a lot of things you really hope are storyline about the Miz’s family situation and the Miz insisted on a falls count anywhere match.
Prediction - Shane is jumping off some shit and missing… leading to a Miz victory.
Follow up - Mutual respect between the two for doing crazy shit in the ring and going their separate storyline ways.
Daniel Bryan (c) vs. Kofi Kingston
Singles match for the WWE Championship
The first match with a beefy main event story built out around it. Kofi is a long serving member of the roster who never got near the top. Then he stepped in for an injured Mustafa Ali at a PPV and captured the hearts of the fans. Since then, the fans have basically demanded he face Bryan for the belt at mania. Here is the recap of all the things they have overcome to get there:
I say “they” because Kingston’s pals in the New Day have put their careers on hold for Kofi to have this title shot. It has been an awesome ride and I am really looking forward to this match.
ALSO: It is worth noting that in the long history of the WWE/F there has never been a black champion. The Rock kind of counts, but that is as close as anyone gets. He is Samoan. Kofi has alluded to Vince “never giving people like me a chance” and it is definitely what he is talking about. This in the wake of the Hogan drama recently, is really pretty crazy that it is part of the story.
Prediction - Has to be Kofi. Modern WWE is so careful with being PC and marketing and stuff it just has to be. And really, he has earned it.
Follow Up - This is the best part. If they do pull the trigger, there is a built in story of the New Day supporting him for a while while he beats up the contenders, then grows jealous of him putting himself before the group and suddenly there are three mega stars in the making with a long term story blood feud…. So yeah, Daniel Bryan will probably win actually, that makes too much sense.
AJ Styles vs. Randy Orton
Singles match
The best “normal” match on the card. These two don’t really have a story outside of the fact that they are huge stars and amazing in ring and didn’t have anything else to do. So why not? Give em 20 minutes and watch them have match of the night. Not much else to say here.
Prediction - Orton with some crazy RKO like this one:
Follow up - None really. Both headliners looking for new feuds.
Kurt Angle vs. Baron Corbin
Singles match
Angle’s farewell match
Your Olympic Hero is one of the few remaining Attitude Era stars still active and this will be his last match. It has been weeks of a send off and he can’t really go anymore. Countless neck injuries have taken their toll but it’ll be a nice 5 minute match to say goodbye. Baron Corbin is literally nobody and doesn’t deserve this. Which is why I believe a conspicuously absent John Cena will find a way into this match instead of Corbin. Cena once upon a time made his WWE debut against Kurt Angle and it would be a very fitting way to send Angle off right in a big Mania match.
Prediction - Cena wins
Follow up - Goodbye sweet prince:
Bayley and Sasha Banks (c) vs. The Divas of Doom (Beth Phoenix and Natalya) vs. The Iconics vs. Nia Jax and Tamina
Fatal four-way tag team match for the WWE Women's Tag Team Championship
The newly formed Women’s Tag Team division is certainly star studded. The current champs are Sasha and Bayley and they are two of the “Four Horsewomen” of the WWE. Widely regarded as the 4 most talented female wrestlers alive (the other two are in the main event; Charlotte Flair and Becky Lynch), these two should end the night with the titles and continue their reign atop the women’s tag division… at least for now. Nia and Tamina are the big baddies the Iconics are a comedy tag team who are actually a pre-made tag team and actually funny. Divas of Doom are a throwback for 10 years ago. All of these come together for a Banks and Bayley win.
Prediction - Sasha and Bayley retain.
Follow up - These two continue to hold up the tag division until WWE develops it further. This belt is defended on NXT as well and no one else is well enough equipped to do that than these two NXT darlings who might have the title of best NXT match ever as well:
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Triple H vs. Batista
No Holds Barred match
If Triple H loses, he must retire from in-ring competition
Apparently Batista has wanted to return to WWE for a while and WWE has said their all set with him and his services. This was rumored for a few years now. So Batista just keeps doing movies. However, that all changed a month ago when WWE was celebrating Ric Flair’s birthday:
That is the set up for this match. Batista wants to fight HHH and HHH is up for it. Batista “hates” HHH and wants to end his career, so he got him to put his in ring career on the line. I’m going the other way here and thinking this is actually the end for HHH. He runs NXT and is really close to running WWE himself in the near future when Vince retires/dies. This could well be the end for the 49 year old.
Prediction - Batista wins, HHH retires
Follow up - Maybe a speech on raw? Likely not much to be honest. He isn’t the future in the ring, but he will be around for a long time in his behind the scenes role.
Brock Lesnar (c) vs. Seth Rollins
Singles match for the WWE Universal Championship
This year’s Rumble winner Rollins chose to fight Brock to try to bring the title back to full time TV. As it stands now, the show revolves around…. Something? But Brock is very rarely around outside of the big 4 PPVs and really, they need that title back on TV. We have said this for years and for years Brock just squashes everyone. BUT Seth Rollins cashed in Money in the Bank and won the title in the main event of Mania years ago in a match Brock was involved in. Technically he has taken the title off Brock once already at mania… a feat that not many can claim especially lately.
Prediction - Seth Rollins
Follow up - Rollins goes on a big run as the champ. He is probably the best wrestler alive and has been for a year or so now. The man is electric. Let him go with it.
Ronda Rousey (c; Raw) vs. Charlotte Flair (c; SmackDown) vs. Becky Lynch
Winner takes all triple threat match for both the WWE Raw Women's Championship and the WWE SmackDown Women's Championship
As discussed before, Becky and Charlotte were 2/4 of the 4 best women’s wrestlers alive. However, none of those four have the real life street cred that Rousey does. She has been great since she arrived in the WWE last year. But lets not kid ourselves… this story is about Becky Lynch. Her rocket ship ascent to fan favorite at the top of the card began at Summerslam. She had a match for the Smackdown Women’s title that she earned through a qualifying match. Charlotte was added to the match, detracting from Becky chances in spite of them being “best friends” at the time. Charlotte won, and after the match Becky went ballistic on her:
A few months later, Becky had taken the title from Charlotte after WWE tried to make her the bad guy but fans adored her for finally showing some edge to her character. Everything was lining up for a massive match at Survivor Series where she was to go 1 on 1 with Rousey in a champion vs champion match. During an episode of Raw where Smackdown invaded and ambushed the Raw women, Becky took out Rousey and in the middle of taking out the other women, got real life punched in the face suffering a broken nose and concussion days before the big match:
(one of the all time badass moments was her standing in the crowd, blood everywhere, with her arms out asking for more: pbs.twimg.com/media/Dr3OKzfW4AEP9wy.jpg )
Becky reluctantly had to select her replacement for the Rousey match and chose Charlotte out of respect and hope that she could beat Rousey and defend Smackdown’s honor.
Ronda said she would get payback for the attack and later costs both Becky and Charlotte their Smackdown title at TLC when she interfered and allowed Asuka to take the crown from them. Heading into the rumble, Becky was slated to face Asuka for the title and Charlotte to be in the rumble. Asuka beat Becky and late in the Rumble, Becky was a shock surprise entrant and ended up winning the Rumble and injuring herself in the process. Regardless of her injury, she wanted Rousey at mania.
Since then there have been a few feigned attempts to get her out of the picture by the powers that be and to get Charlotte into the match (the chosen one). But Becky refuses to take no for an answer and neither will her fans going ballistic in the crowd. So here we are with a triple threat match.
Oh, and one week before Mania in a surprise random match, Charlotte beat Asuka for the belt so that now both titles are on the line. Horrible treatment of a major talent for Asuka, but ultimately just another addition to this incredible story that will now unify the women’s title.
All that is to say that this has been a long time coming and a TON of focus has been on this for months and months. It shows as well, as this is the first time women with headline mania and it does not feel forced even a little. These three deserve it, and most of all, Becky Lynch deserves it. She is probably the hottest women’s wrestler ever and is immensely talented in and out of the ring.
Prediction - Becky Lynch
Follow up - No idea really. Unified titles are tricky. Who cares though, this is the peak of the mountain.
Enjoy it fellas, see you next year.
