Welcome to the 7th Annual WRESTLEMANIA WRITE UP!!!
Mar 28, 2018 13:56:29 GMT -5
KC Royals GM (Kevin) likes this
Post by D Backs GM (Tyler) on Mar 28, 2018 13:56:29 GMT -5
This preview is a little earlier than usual this year since I am going to England for 2 weeks starting this weekend. And I’m going to be drunk with friends instead of writing long wrestling previews on a fantasy baseball forum (no offense guys). So the show is April 8th on WWE Network ($9.99 per month, but you can get a free month and cancel after the show… so watching is basically free). One more note before we get going… HBO is releasing a documentary about Andre the Giant that is supposed to be incredible on April 11. Check that out too.
We have a 13+ match card to get to so lets do it. I’ll set up the match, make a pick, and hopefully give all you “wrestlemania only” fans enough backstory to enjoy each match. I will start be saying that the brand split is back/still here. So some titles are one show or the other and the “next night” predictions are for Monday or Tuesday. There is also an alleged superstar shake up (where they trade people from show to show) set for the night after Mania. So who really knows whats happening.
Since its a week out, I have no idea what is going to be on the pre-show and what isn’t or what the order is, so here is my best guess from least important to biggest main event.
________________________________
Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal (both shows)
So far there are literally no names and bottom tier guys announced for this, but I’ll take a few guesses at who else will be in it. Rusev (super over with the crowd), many tag teams, Bray Wyatt, Elias (new guy, awesome guitar playing douche bag), and a bunch of jobbers who no one cares about. Basically, you get a pay check only if you are on the card, and this is to get a bunch of guys paychecks. There is no story, its a battle royal (everyone in the ring at once to start, then over the top rope until there is only one left). Filler match. Trash match. Hence its place on the preshow.
Prediction: Elias - I guess? Who cares, just make it quick we have a million matches to get to.
Next day prediction: no one cares
WrestleMania Women's Battle Royal (both shows)
Over the past year or two WWE has been taking the Women’s wrestling scene very seriously. It has been great. There are legitimate stars now who are women and they are great wrestlers. Fortunately for this Battle Royal we have a lot more star power in this one because there are only 2.5 other women’s matches on the card overall. Sasha Banks, Becky Lynch, Bayley, Ruby Riot, Naomi, Natalya. There is a lot of good talent in this match. The main story brewing is that Bayley and Sasha Banks have been going at it in a “former best friends” feud. Sasha is a “whatever it takes” aggressive great wrestler (4x champ), Bayley is the best friend who never got over the hump because she is too nice. Both great wrestlers. They have officially turned on each other heading into this match and it should be great to watch over the next few months. I don’t think we get a pay off in this match, but the seeds of something big are planted.
Prediction: Becky Lynch wins.
Next day prediction: Bayley and Sasha eliminate each other through some fuckery and it ends up being the bigger story the next night.
Cedric Alexander vs. Mustafa Ali (Cruiserweight Championship - 205 Live)
So the little dudes have their own show now on Tuesday nights called 205 Live (weight “limit” 205 lbs). Its awesome wrestling but I will admit that I do not watch it all the time. I barely have time for the two main shows. NXT is next on my list (the WWE development show on the network for an hour on Wednesdays which also has a PPV the night before Mania that will surely feature better wrestling and storytelling, but I digress).
Like I said, I don’t watch this show a ton, but I think Alexander is going to win (why not?). Last year this was Neville vs Aries which was incredible.
Prediction: Cedric Alexander
Next day prediction: I still don’t watch that 7th hour of WWE every week.
Randy Orton (c) vs. Bobby Roode vs. Jinder Mahal vs. Rusev (Smackdown - Fatal 4 way for the US Title)
Bobby Roode is Rick Roode’s son. Randy Orton is somehow the title holder but no one really cares. Bobby Roode needs to be a bad guy and he isn’t. I think he turns soon but not here. Rusev once entered mania literally on a tank and it was awesome (http://www.wwe.com/videos/rusev-wrestlemania-31-tank-entrance) Pay no attention to the fact that he was Russian and is now Bulgarian. He is so so so connected to the crowd right now. I literally own a ruse day shirt. He is a good wrestler and a genuinely funny guy with a ridiculously smoking hot wife (Lana, in the women’s battle royal). I really really hope Rusev gets the title here (or if he doesn’t, he should move up the card) when guys connect with the crowd, they should be rewarded.
Prediction: Rusev CRUSH!
Next day predictions: Hopefully they have a plan. I doubt they do, but I hope its not a continuation of this trash feud.
The Usos (c) vs. The New Day vs. The Bludgeon Brothers (Smackdown Tag Team Titles)
New Day and the Usos have been going back and forth for about 6 months now in what had turned into a mutual respect feud. They just put on amazing matches. You may remember the Bludgeon Brothers as the Wyatt Family (Harper and Rowan) before their rebrand. Two giant scary bearded dudes who can go. This should be a really fun match even if it only goes like 10 minutes. There isn’t really a story outside of “I want the title” which is cool. Not everything is a soap opera, sometimes its just good wrestling.
Prediction: The Usos Retain
Next Day Prediction: BB and The New Day feud and Benjamin and Gable get the next title shot (assuming they aren’t all rearranged) all these dudes can wrestle and talk though so whatever they decide is fine.
Cesaro and Sheamus (c) vs. Braun Strowman and TBD (Raw Tag Team Titles)
Braun Strowman is a giant monster who kills people. He won the #1 contended match for this tag team title match by himself easily. They basically have no better idea for him on the card. This will be interesting though because he apparently has a mystery partner. I wouldn’t mind a win. I wouldn’t mind knowing who the partner is. I just love watching this guy wrestle. The crowd adores him. He will be the champ by summer slam in my estimation. I think they keep the mystery a mystery until the match is about to happen too. Neat.
Prediction: Cesaro and Sheamus retain.
Next Day Prediction: Storwman’s mystery partner costs him the match and he literally kills him the next day on raw. I’m hoping its someone like a surprise return for Samoa Joe and that he then feuds with Samoa Joe.
Alexa Bliss (c) vs. Nia Jax (Raw Women’s Championship)
Get the popcorn ready for this backstory. Nia Jax is massive. Like, amazon massive. Alexa Bliss is 5 ft even if that (side note, maybe the best looking female alive). In the past Nia has been the best friend of Alexa and basically been per enforcer and protector making sure she keeps the title. They are real life best friends. Last week on Raw a “hot mic” in the back picked up Alexa Bliss talking about how she uses Nia and that she is just a fat idiot who lets her keep the title. Nia was in the ring hearing this and went storming to the back to go mess up Alexa but Alexa had already high tailed it outta there. Thus the match was set. A blood feud based on women bullying other women. Alexa’s mic work is always on point and Jax is so imposing in the ring. I think they can tell a good story with limited time (which is a valuable skill on this marathon of a show).
Prediction: Alexa somehow retains
Next Day Prediction: These two get separated by a brand split and they put this feud on hold and keep it for next time they’re stuck. Its hot, but it hasn’t had time to marinate yet.
The Miz (c) vs. Seth Rollins vs. Finn Bálor (Raw - Triple Threat for the Intercontinental Title)
Everyone in this match has a little entourage (though some are not around at the moment). The Miz is the awesome mic work guy who carries the promos and the other two are amazing wrestlers. This has all the right ingredients to be a show stealing match. Hopefully they get enough time. The story is basically “I want the title” but who cares? Its the IC title. It matters. And they’ve done a good job leading up to it making me want to see it.
Prediction: The Miz Retains
Next Day Prediction: Miz gloats, the other two have moved on to something else. Miz is interrupted by an NXT call up or someone out of nowhere (Randy Orton? idk someone like that) for his next feud.
Charlotte Flair (c) vs. Asuka (Smackdown Women’s Title)
Asuka won the first ever Women’s Royal Rumble this year and deservingly so. She is the best wrestler and the most protected one. She literally has never lost in WWE or in developmental (NXT). It has been like 4 years. She is legit, and scary and awesome. Charlotte is a bona fide star though. Ric Flair’s daughter, robe, strut, woo, and all also has quite the resume so far in WWE. I hope they let them go a bit in this match because these two can really tell a story if given time.
Prediction: Asuka is crowned and remains unbeaten.
Next day prediction: See next match…
Kurt Angle and Ronda Rousey vs. Triple H and Stephanie McMahon
Yup. This is a thing that is definitely happening in 2018... in WWE. A legit UFC champion, a legit olympic gold medalist, an heiress to the WWE empire, and HHH. This is the big publicity match and it is Rousey’s first match. Years ago at mania she came out of the crowd with the Rock and got after HHH and Steph. Now its time for revenge! I guess… Who knows, but Rousey is apparently sticking around full time after this, so it’ll be neat to see how she does in her first match on such a massive stage.
Prediction: Rousey submits HHH
Next Day Prediction: She goes right after Asuka for the title. If she is here (for who knows how long) why wait?
Daniel Bryan and Shane McMahon vs. Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn (If Owens and Zayn win, they will be reinstated to SmackDown. If they lose, they will remain fired)
Where to begin… This story has 6 months of simple story telling behind it. Shane and Daniel Bryan are the Smackdown brass who is (apparently) keeping down KO and Sami. Even though they are constantly pushing the cheating boundaries and being super annoying. KO and Sami are definitely the bad guys, but only because of how genuinely beloved the other two characters are. They do make sense when they complain about things. And Over the months Daniel Bryan has championed for them because he came through the wrestling minor leagues with them and respects them (real live and in story). So eventually they attached Shane and DB physically after they were fired and thus the match was made.
BUT: The real story here is Daniel Bryan. 3 years ago he was forced to retire due to CTE / concussions. He continued to work and find new treatments and had apparently found a new technology to regenerate the things that are damaged with concussions (I’m not a doctor, but this is legit real life news, just go with it). For more than a year independent doctors cleared him, but WWE would not. He kept asking and asking and WWE kept their golden goose from wrestling. Bryan is far and away the most popular guy they have had since Stone Cold. This year, he got them to allow him to be reevaluated by the WWE doctors and low and behold he actually had improved and regenerated brain stuff to the point of having no damage from past concussions. There is real life medical shit going on here that could be major breakthroughs.
Anyway, this is his first match back. The roof is going to come off.
Prediction: Sami and KO win, and of course keep their jobs.
Next Day Prediction: No idea where Bryan goes from here but it has to be straight to the top of the card. Crowds will be nuts for him as they should be.
AJ Styles (c) vs. Shinsuke Nakamura (Smackdown - WWE Title)
These are likely the two best wrestlers alive right now. Styles is the best in the world and every match he has is an instant classic. He is the rare mix of talent, charisma, and athleticism. Nakamura won the mens rumble this year and chose to fight Styles to make a dream match. This is a dream match. There is no story outside of these two being the best in the world going for the most prestigious title.
Prediction: Styles retains
Next Day Prediction: Rematches on the next PPV because the fans want it and it was such a classic.
Brock Lesnar (c) vs. Roman Reigns (Raw - WWE Universal Title)
Often absent champ Lesnar has ran through basically everyone since he beat Taker 3-4 years ago at mania. He is a monster but he is never around. Unintentional heel Reigns has tried to use that to garner sympathy as the “I’m here for you ever day” good guy. Unclear if its working or if people just want to see a big match between the two. Lesnar has been destroying Reigns every week leading up to this match (which I suspect will change this week on the last Raw before the big show, but still). Its hard to imagine all this to do and Roman not going over. Pleas just do it and get it over with so the crowd can get over it.
The Roman hate is crazy. He’s a good wrestler. As I have said in years past (and it still applies) he is “the chosen one” and WWE ruined him by telegraphing it and making him invincible. They have toned that down lately-ish, but he still gets pushed to the top every time there is a major event. The crowd do not like it and they won’t this year either. I don’t know how they ever get out from under that to be honest outside of turning him heel (which will immediately result in cheers). Wrestling is weird. Wrestling fans are weird. Whatever.
Prediction: Roman Wins
Next Day Prediction: Samoa Joe maybe comes back? Balor to the top? Who knows. Just no Brock for a while, we need the title and champ on TV
Now, there are no more advertised matches as of now but…..
John Cena vs The Undertaker
Cena and the WWE have been teasing this and calling to Taker for weeks now. There is a 0% chance they would do this with no intention to pay it off with a match. I don’t know how the story will “end” in a match. Cena beat up his brother Kane this week. Called him a quitter, coward, all of it. No gong, no dead man. No idea how they are going to do it this week but this match is 100% happening (otherwise why do any of that lol)
Prediction: Taker Wins
Bonus Prediction: Taker officially retires (for real this time). There is no next day for the Deadman.
_____________________________________
Feel free to leave your picks and comments below... and Happy Opening Day Eve! We will have another (on the topic of baseball) write up in the next 24 hours.
We have a 13+ match card to get to so lets do it. I’ll set up the match, make a pick, and hopefully give all you “wrestlemania only” fans enough backstory to enjoy each match. I will start be saying that the brand split is back/still here. So some titles are one show or the other and the “next night” predictions are for Monday or Tuesday. There is also an alleged superstar shake up (where they trade people from show to show) set for the night after Mania. So who really knows whats happening.
Since its a week out, I have no idea what is going to be on the pre-show and what isn’t or what the order is, so here is my best guess from least important to biggest main event.
________________________________
Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal (both shows)
So far there are literally no names and bottom tier guys announced for this, but I’ll take a few guesses at who else will be in it. Rusev (super over with the crowd), many tag teams, Bray Wyatt, Elias (new guy, awesome guitar playing douche bag), and a bunch of jobbers who no one cares about. Basically, you get a pay check only if you are on the card, and this is to get a bunch of guys paychecks. There is no story, its a battle royal (everyone in the ring at once to start, then over the top rope until there is only one left). Filler match. Trash match. Hence its place on the preshow.
Prediction: Elias - I guess? Who cares, just make it quick we have a million matches to get to.
Next day prediction: no one cares
WrestleMania Women's Battle Royal (both shows)
Over the past year or two WWE has been taking the Women’s wrestling scene very seriously. It has been great. There are legitimate stars now who are women and they are great wrestlers. Fortunately for this Battle Royal we have a lot more star power in this one because there are only 2.5 other women’s matches on the card overall. Sasha Banks, Becky Lynch, Bayley, Ruby Riot, Naomi, Natalya. There is a lot of good talent in this match. The main story brewing is that Bayley and Sasha Banks have been going at it in a “former best friends” feud. Sasha is a “whatever it takes” aggressive great wrestler (4x champ), Bayley is the best friend who never got over the hump because she is too nice. Both great wrestlers. They have officially turned on each other heading into this match and it should be great to watch over the next few months. I don’t think we get a pay off in this match, but the seeds of something big are planted.
Prediction: Becky Lynch wins.
Next day prediction: Bayley and Sasha eliminate each other through some fuckery and it ends up being the bigger story the next night.
Cedric Alexander vs. Mustafa Ali (Cruiserweight Championship - 205 Live)
So the little dudes have their own show now on Tuesday nights called 205 Live (weight “limit” 205 lbs). Its awesome wrestling but I will admit that I do not watch it all the time. I barely have time for the two main shows. NXT is next on my list (the WWE development show on the network for an hour on Wednesdays which also has a PPV the night before Mania that will surely feature better wrestling and storytelling, but I digress).
Like I said, I don’t watch this show a ton, but I think Alexander is going to win (why not?). Last year this was Neville vs Aries which was incredible.
Prediction: Cedric Alexander
Next day prediction: I still don’t watch that 7th hour of WWE every week.
Randy Orton (c) vs. Bobby Roode vs. Jinder Mahal vs. Rusev (Smackdown - Fatal 4 way for the US Title)
Bobby Roode is Rick Roode’s son. Randy Orton is somehow the title holder but no one really cares. Bobby Roode needs to be a bad guy and he isn’t. I think he turns soon but not here. Rusev once entered mania literally on a tank and it was awesome (http://www.wwe.com/videos/rusev-wrestlemania-31-tank-entrance) Pay no attention to the fact that he was Russian and is now Bulgarian. He is so so so connected to the crowd right now. I literally own a ruse day shirt. He is a good wrestler and a genuinely funny guy with a ridiculously smoking hot wife (Lana, in the women’s battle royal). I really really hope Rusev gets the title here (or if he doesn’t, he should move up the card) when guys connect with the crowd, they should be rewarded.
Prediction: Rusev CRUSH!
Next day predictions: Hopefully they have a plan. I doubt they do, but I hope its not a continuation of this trash feud.
The Usos (c) vs. The New Day vs. The Bludgeon Brothers (Smackdown Tag Team Titles)
New Day and the Usos have been going back and forth for about 6 months now in what had turned into a mutual respect feud. They just put on amazing matches. You may remember the Bludgeon Brothers as the Wyatt Family (Harper and Rowan) before their rebrand. Two giant scary bearded dudes who can go. This should be a really fun match even if it only goes like 10 minutes. There isn’t really a story outside of “I want the title” which is cool. Not everything is a soap opera, sometimes its just good wrestling.
Prediction: The Usos Retain
Next Day Prediction: BB and The New Day feud and Benjamin and Gable get the next title shot (assuming they aren’t all rearranged) all these dudes can wrestle and talk though so whatever they decide is fine.
Cesaro and Sheamus (c) vs. Braun Strowman and TBD (Raw Tag Team Titles)
Braun Strowman is a giant monster who kills people. He won the #1 contended match for this tag team title match by himself easily. They basically have no better idea for him on the card. This will be interesting though because he apparently has a mystery partner. I wouldn’t mind a win. I wouldn’t mind knowing who the partner is. I just love watching this guy wrestle. The crowd adores him. He will be the champ by summer slam in my estimation. I think they keep the mystery a mystery until the match is about to happen too. Neat.
Prediction: Cesaro and Sheamus retain.
Next Day Prediction: Storwman’s mystery partner costs him the match and he literally kills him the next day on raw. I’m hoping its someone like a surprise return for Samoa Joe and that he then feuds with Samoa Joe.
Alexa Bliss (c) vs. Nia Jax (Raw Women’s Championship)
Get the popcorn ready for this backstory. Nia Jax is massive. Like, amazon massive. Alexa Bliss is 5 ft even if that (side note, maybe the best looking female alive). In the past Nia has been the best friend of Alexa and basically been per enforcer and protector making sure she keeps the title. They are real life best friends. Last week on Raw a “hot mic” in the back picked up Alexa Bliss talking about how she uses Nia and that she is just a fat idiot who lets her keep the title. Nia was in the ring hearing this and went storming to the back to go mess up Alexa but Alexa had already high tailed it outta there. Thus the match was set. A blood feud based on women bullying other women. Alexa’s mic work is always on point and Jax is so imposing in the ring. I think they can tell a good story with limited time (which is a valuable skill on this marathon of a show).
Prediction: Alexa somehow retains
Next Day Prediction: These two get separated by a brand split and they put this feud on hold and keep it for next time they’re stuck. Its hot, but it hasn’t had time to marinate yet.
The Miz (c) vs. Seth Rollins vs. Finn Bálor (Raw - Triple Threat for the Intercontinental Title)
Everyone in this match has a little entourage (though some are not around at the moment). The Miz is the awesome mic work guy who carries the promos and the other two are amazing wrestlers. This has all the right ingredients to be a show stealing match. Hopefully they get enough time. The story is basically “I want the title” but who cares? Its the IC title. It matters. And they’ve done a good job leading up to it making me want to see it.
Prediction: The Miz Retains
Next Day Prediction: Miz gloats, the other two have moved on to something else. Miz is interrupted by an NXT call up or someone out of nowhere (Randy Orton? idk someone like that) for his next feud.
Charlotte Flair (c) vs. Asuka (Smackdown Women’s Title)
Asuka won the first ever Women’s Royal Rumble this year and deservingly so. She is the best wrestler and the most protected one. She literally has never lost in WWE or in developmental (NXT). It has been like 4 years. She is legit, and scary and awesome. Charlotte is a bona fide star though. Ric Flair’s daughter, robe, strut, woo, and all also has quite the resume so far in WWE. I hope they let them go a bit in this match because these two can really tell a story if given time.
Prediction: Asuka is crowned and remains unbeaten.
Next day prediction: See next match…
Kurt Angle and Ronda Rousey vs. Triple H and Stephanie McMahon
Yup. This is a thing that is definitely happening in 2018... in WWE. A legit UFC champion, a legit olympic gold medalist, an heiress to the WWE empire, and HHH. This is the big publicity match and it is Rousey’s first match. Years ago at mania she came out of the crowd with the Rock and got after HHH and Steph. Now its time for revenge! I guess… Who knows, but Rousey is apparently sticking around full time after this, so it’ll be neat to see how she does in her first match on such a massive stage.
Prediction: Rousey submits HHH
Next Day Prediction: She goes right after Asuka for the title. If she is here (for who knows how long) why wait?
Daniel Bryan and Shane McMahon vs. Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn (If Owens and Zayn win, they will be reinstated to SmackDown. If they lose, they will remain fired)
Where to begin… This story has 6 months of simple story telling behind it. Shane and Daniel Bryan are the Smackdown brass who is (apparently) keeping down KO and Sami. Even though they are constantly pushing the cheating boundaries and being super annoying. KO and Sami are definitely the bad guys, but only because of how genuinely beloved the other two characters are. They do make sense when they complain about things. And Over the months Daniel Bryan has championed for them because he came through the wrestling minor leagues with them and respects them (real live and in story). So eventually they attached Shane and DB physically after they were fired and thus the match was made.
BUT: The real story here is Daniel Bryan. 3 years ago he was forced to retire due to CTE / concussions. He continued to work and find new treatments and had apparently found a new technology to regenerate the things that are damaged with concussions (I’m not a doctor, but this is legit real life news, just go with it). For more than a year independent doctors cleared him, but WWE would not. He kept asking and asking and WWE kept their golden goose from wrestling. Bryan is far and away the most popular guy they have had since Stone Cold. This year, he got them to allow him to be reevaluated by the WWE doctors and low and behold he actually had improved and regenerated brain stuff to the point of having no damage from past concussions. There is real life medical shit going on here that could be major breakthroughs.
Anyway, this is his first match back. The roof is going to come off.
Prediction: Sami and KO win, and of course keep their jobs.
Next Day Prediction: No idea where Bryan goes from here but it has to be straight to the top of the card. Crowds will be nuts for him as they should be.
AJ Styles (c) vs. Shinsuke Nakamura (Smackdown - WWE Title)
These are likely the two best wrestlers alive right now. Styles is the best in the world and every match he has is an instant classic. He is the rare mix of talent, charisma, and athleticism. Nakamura won the mens rumble this year and chose to fight Styles to make a dream match. This is a dream match. There is no story outside of these two being the best in the world going for the most prestigious title.
Prediction: Styles retains
Next Day Prediction: Rematches on the next PPV because the fans want it and it was such a classic.
Brock Lesnar (c) vs. Roman Reigns (Raw - WWE Universal Title)
Often absent champ Lesnar has ran through basically everyone since he beat Taker 3-4 years ago at mania. He is a monster but he is never around. Unintentional heel Reigns has tried to use that to garner sympathy as the “I’m here for you ever day” good guy. Unclear if its working or if people just want to see a big match between the two. Lesnar has been destroying Reigns every week leading up to this match (which I suspect will change this week on the last Raw before the big show, but still). Its hard to imagine all this to do and Roman not going over. Pleas just do it and get it over with so the crowd can get over it.
The Roman hate is crazy. He’s a good wrestler. As I have said in years past (and it still applies) he is “the chosen one” and WWE ruined him by telegraphing it and making him invincible. They have toned that down lately-ish, but he still gets pushed to the top every time there is a major event. The crowd do not like it and they won’t this year either. I don’t know how they ever get out from under that to be honest outside of turning him heel (which will immediately result in cheers). Wrestling is weird. Wrestling fans are weird. Whatever.
Prediction: Roman Wins
Next Day Prediction: Samoa Joe maybe comes back? Balor to the top? Who knows. Just no Brock for a while, we need the title and champ on TV
Now, there are no more advertised matches as of now but…..
John Cena vs The Undertaker
Cena and the WWE have been teasing this and calling to Taker for weeks now. There is a 0% chance they would do this with no intention to pay it off with a match. I don’t know how the story will “end” in a match. Cena beat up his brother Kane this week. Called him a quitter, coward, all of it. No gong, no dead man. No idea how they are going to do it this week but this match is 100% happening (otherwise why do any of that lol)
Prediction: Taker Wins
Bonus Prediction: Taker officially retires (for real this time). There is no next day for the Deadman.
_____________________________________
Feel free to leave your picks and comments below... and Happy Opening Day Eve! We will have another (on the topic of baseball) write up in the next 24 hours.