The Ultimate Thrill Ride: 6th Annual Wrestlemania Preview!

[D Backs GM (Tyler)]

WOOOOOOOO! Welcome to the annual Wrestlemania preview! I'll be letting you know the short story on each match, predictions, and hopefully starting a little discussion on what will happen Sunday (and maybe Monday/Tuesday) night! This year's is being held in Orlando, FL. The New Day is hosting, and they are awesome and funny.

The state of the WWE
First, I sort of have to explain what's going on at a higher level. Right now, there is a Monday night show (RAW), a Tuesday night show (Smackdown Live), a Tuesday Late Show (205 Live, with cruiser weights only), and a Wednesday show (NXT - the farm system of wrestling if you will). No one really watches ALL of it, because its like 8 hours a week, which is insane. The big ones are Raw and Smackdown, which have separate rosters that do not overlap. There was a fantasy style draft last year and they split the guys and gals into two groups, Raw and Smackdown.

PRESHOW - 5PM EST (Seriously)
Available on streaming platforms everywhere (WWE.com, the WWE App, Facebook, YouTube, Twitter, Pinterest and Google+)

André the Giant Memorial Battle Royal (30 Men)
Or by its other name, the jobber royal. This is the way to get everyone on the show that has nothing to do. There are a few minor stories and big names in it this year.

Big Show (super in shape, was supposed to fight Shaq, but that fell through)
Braun Stroman (7'0" wild man with a giant beard who kills fools)
Dolph Ziggler (perpetual also ran, but a fun act always)
Sami Zayn (Future top face who sadly jsut has not much story built in right now. Super entertaining though. Great underdog)
Old guys (Goldust, Rhyno, and Mark Henry... yay)

And a bunch of random tag teams and nobodies. Lets move on.

Prediction - Sami Zayn v Stroman in the end. Braun dominates.
Follow up - Those two feud, its great, eventually Sami goes over and gets into the title picture.

Alexa Bliss (c) vs. Becky Lynch vs. Natalya vs. Mickie James vs. Carmella (with James Ellsworth) vs. Naomi for the WWE SmackDown Women's Championship
Full disclosure: I love Alexa Bliss. She is tiny, athletic as hell, entertaining on the mic, and just incredible. Even though she is the bad guy, I'll be pulling for her. Naomi is the hometown hero (from Orlando) and returning from injury. Becky Lynch is Irish and awesome, probably the best wrestler in the match. Natty and Mickie are the veterans. Carmella is new, green, and matched with the incredible lovable mascot James Ellsworth (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RhYfbff7Jwo). This will be a clusterfuck and another attempt to get everyone on the show.

Prediction - Alexa Bliss
Follow up - No idea, won't matter, they all need something to do because this is the whole division

Neville (c) vs. Austin Aries - Singles match for the WWE Cruiserweight Championship
This match will steal the show. These two are experienced, athletic, and ready for a breakout performance that will define the cruiserweight division. The division is new for this year and they really haven't had anyone or anything put them on the map yet, but these are the two to do it. If you are into neat wrestling and new things you maybe haven't seen before, this one's for you. The story is the basic "you're the bad guy with the title and I'm the good guy and I want it." that's fine. This one will be about the wrestling anyway. Tune in for sure.

Prediction - Austin Aries
Follow up - No idea. There are like 10 guys in the division and no one knows any of them, they need to build new people.

WRESTLEMANIA 33 - 7PM EST

John Cena and Nikki Bella vs. The Miz and Maryse Mixed tag team match
For a match that is loosely based on the Total Bellas reality show on E, this has been a shockingly engaging build. The Miz and Maryse (real life wife but also wrestler) have been making fun of the other two for having a reality show and for Nikki wanting John Cena to propose and Cena not doing it. It has been a build up filled with comedy skits and personal insults. I'm thinking that there is about 50% of this that is "put on a show" and 50% "we really don't like you". Plus Miz and Cena are both great in the ring, this might be the end for Nikki (retirement). Neat little match for sure.

Prediction - John Cena + Nikki
Follow up - John Cena proposes to Nikki after the match. Unclear if its real life or not, or if it matters, or if they'd do it for the story anyway.

Bayley (c) vs. Charlotte Flair vs. Sasha Banks vs. Nia Jax Fatal 4-Way elimination match for the WWE Raw Women's Championship
Characters first, since they are all somewhat new:
Bayley - lovable underdog who hugs people (seriously)
Charlotte - Daughter of Ric Flair, athletic specimen, arrogant bad girl
Nia Jax - giant woman, powerful, not good at talking or storytelling, only squashing
Sasha Banks - Best wrestler, great on the mic. Natural heel playing a face because the crowd love her (for now)

This match is elimination, meaning 3 need to get pinned and the one left wins (as opposed to the first one to score any pin wins). Nia Jax will go out first. Maybe after being ganged up on because she is such a monster. Then the story is told here.... Sasha and Charlotte went back and forth all last year trading wins. Bayley has come in and snatched the title from Charlotte with the "help" of Sasha. But everyone thinks it is setting up for Sasha to backstab her and take the title. Which I tend to agree with. I'm thinking that Sasha and Bayley work together a little then she turns, eliminating champion Bayley and leaving her and Charlotte (who she thinks/knows she can beat 1-1). Don't let the gender fool you if you haven't watched in a while, these women can wrestle. This will be one of the matches of the night if booked right.

Prediction - Sasha Banks vanquishes Charlotte and wins the title.
Follow up - Sasha turns heel. Is the Boss. Feuds with Bailey.

Dean Ambrose (c) vs. Baron Corbin Singles match for the WWE Intercontinental Championship
Dean was the hottest thing in the company at some points last year. Returning stars and the emergence of AJ Styles have pushed him aside for now to work with newcomer Corbin. Corbin isn't bad, hes just new. He is a badass who doesn't care about anyone and just goes out and beats people up. I like him, but he is definitely raw on the mic. As sad as it is for these two and for the IC title, take your pee (or face time with family) break here.

Prediction - Corbin wins.
Follow up - idk, nothing interesting. There has been no real story besides "I want that title" only not the interesting version.

Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson (The Club) (c) vs. Enzo Amore and Big Cass vs. Cesaro and Sheamus Triple threat ladder match for the WWE Raw Tag Team Championship
This will be a fine match, but the real issue is that the Hardy Boyz are rumored to be returning (read: are returning). It's just a matter of if they sign in time to get into the match or of its the next night on raw. This is their signature match and it would be a MASSIVE moment if they returned to take tag team glory once again. I'm not counting on it, but not ruling it out either. As for the match, its 6 dudes and a ton of ladders. They are going to kill each other, it'll be great.

Prediction - Carnage, but The Club Retain
Follow up - Hardy Boyz return and get involved the next night on raw.

Shane McMahon vs. AJ Styles Singles match
I don't really know what to think about this. Basically AJ Styles is the best wrestler alive and he still couldn't find a good opponent, so they pulled the Shane-O-Mac trigger in case of emergency. This might be a good match but AJ is going to have to do everything, you know, because he is the only wrestler. Rumor has it they asked Shawn Michaels to come out of retirement to face AJ Styles but he said no. Respect for actually retiring but damn that would have been a dream match. Now we're stuck with this.

Prediction - AJ Styles
Follow up - Not sure. AJ might jump to Raw (Shane is in charge of smackdown), in exchange for someone (Sami Zayn?). Nothing big though

Chris Jericho (c) vs. Kevin Owens Singles match for the WWE United States Championship

This has been the single most fun build up for a match I can remember. These two are GOLD on the mic. Jericho is doing his best work in years and Owens is a star in his prime right now. This, from a most fun storytelling match, is the #1 match on the card. I have no idea what will happen, who will win, or how. I just know that I will love it. Long live the List of Jericho


Prediction - Kevon Owens
Follow up - Feud forever please.

Bray Wyatt (c) vs. Randy Orton Singles match for the WWE Championship
This one.... has been weird. Bray Wyatt is a weird cult leader who has had many wrestlers under his spell. They have all abandoned him. Randy Orton was a member of "the family" and basically caused inter feuding and destroyed it from within. Luke Harper (another former member) has been heavily involved in the build up to this one, but I suspect he stays away for now. His time will come soon. Randy Orton burned down Bray's house, desecrated his sister/cult leader?s grave, and basically drove Bray to madness... and he's the good guy. The story has been weird, but its for the title and Wyatt deserves a massive win on a massive show.

Prediction - Bray Wyatt
Follow up - Erick Rowan (another previously injured family member) returns on Tuesday's Smackdown and adds more to the story with Harper/Orton/Wyatt

Seth Rollins vs. Triple H Non-sanctioned match
Non-sanctioned because Seth Rollins is pretend-injured. This gives them an excuse to wrestle all over the place. This one is the angle people will talk about. Triple H has a new bad guy henchmen Samoa Joe. They have been teaming up on raw good guys for weeks now. There is a returning star STAR ready to come back and even the playing field and I bet he arrives just in time to save this match from interference.


Finn Balor (with one of the sweetest entrances ever) saves the day, beats up Samoa Joe, and teams up wth Rollins vs HHH.

Prediction - Seth Rollins 
Follow up - Finn + Seth vs Joe + HHH the next night on Raw

The Undertaker vs. Roman Reigns Singles match
Booooooooooooo! The story here is more the story behind the story. The one they are pushing is Roman Reigns is an overcoming good guy who is the next "special one". He says "this is my house now" Taker says, no it isn't, and here we are.

The interesting part is what reality is. Everyone HATES Roman. The feeling is he is being forced onto us (this should sound familiar from my last 2 years of writing these). He is still being pushed as a good guy, and the crowd is still rejecting him. I don't get it, but whatever. Also caught up in this is that this is potentially Taker's last ride. He truly cannot move. IF Roman ends his career, pins him, and retires him. The beloved Undertaker! There will be no going back. He will have the biggest bad guy run ever and will be universally hated. That's where I'm hoping they go here. But honestly, if he takes the L to taker, then Taker shakes his hand and tells him he respects him or some shit then we're just headed for another 10 years of Roman nonsense good guy crap.

Prediction - Roman Wins 
Follow up - This does not go well. Unless they try to make him the most hated guy in the company (which he sort of is already)

Goldberg (c) vs. Brock Lesnar (with Paul Heyman) Singles match for the WWE Universal Championship
In spite of this being for the (recently made up) title, this match basically exists outside of the scope of the rest of the company. Its a big name match to sell tickets, but these guys really dont (or haven't at least) interact with anyone else. It will sell tickets because of nostalgia, but this will be some sort of schmoz finish or match. Goldberg has never been able to wrestle a real life more than 5 minute match and he isn't going to start learning at 52 (yes, 52). But who knows, maybe its fun and Lesnar kills him, takes the title, and sticks around a little bit. Who am I kidding, we won't see either guy again for months title or not.

Prediction - Lesnar kills
Follow up - Minimal. This is the end of the story and one or both of them is going away.


Feel free to leave your comments below, or if you have questions I'm happy to answer what I can. I would say if you have ever liked wrestling then getting the network (free for a month) is a no brainer. It has basically all wrestling ever on it and free PPVs. You can watch wrestlemania literally for free.

[Nationals GM (corkzilla)]

I miss the "Attitude Era". I was surprised that they were splitting the company again with the whole "draft" gimmick when it didn't work before. I don't understand the whole Roman Reigns thing either. The "Superman Punch" might be the lamest "finisher" since Hogan's Leg Drop.

Love me some Becky Lynch though and how about the Paige leaks?

[D Backs GM (Tyler)]

We all do a little. But if you go back and watch, things aren't that much better than they are now, just with more boobs and weird stories. They had stars in HHH Stone Cold and The Rock, but todays WWE actually has a massive amount of guys who are super over.

The brand split thing sort of makes sense this time around. Raw is the traditional throw together nonsense and Smackdown is the more old school booking wrestling show. Smackdown is way better to watch in general, but the "bigger" stars are on Raw. They really needed to do it because they have like 20 potential top level guys (and girls) and needed to give some guys some space and chances tha they wouldn't have had on one show.

Raw - Owens, Lesnar, Goldberg, Jericho, Rollins, Balor, Braun Stroman, New Day, Reigns, Sami Zayn, Samoa Joe, and Enzo and Cass should all 100% be on every week.
Smackdown - Dean Ambrose, AJ Styles, Randy Orton, John Cena, AJ Styles, Luke Harper, Dolph Ziggler, and American Alpha.

Thats a LOT of talent for one show without even mentioning the best group of women wrestlers there have ever been. I'm glad they had the draft this time around.

idk about Reigns either. He has good matches, but I'm already tired of him never ever ever losing to anyone. Technically his spear is the finisher though, and the drive by is a legit cool move.


And yeah, behind Alexa Bliss, Becky Lynch is pretty good lol. The Paige leaks were sad. I feel bad. I did love the Xavier Woods bit after though. (He also was in one of the leaks) Focus on the opening line and the :35 sec mark lol

[Nationals GM (corkzilla)]

I thought Xavier Woods was gay?

[The Ghost of Swo]

haha your $wo autocorrect screwed you over. vengeance!

[Deleted]

FREE THE ASCENSION!

[D Backs GM (Tyler)]

Stupid White Oval- Fixed.

Luca, bold statement lol. you obviously watch, thoughts on any of the matches?

[Deleted]

If Lesnar doesn't full on destroy Goldberg in the main event then I don't know what the plan was, I love what they've done with Bray Wyatt, Owens v Jericho should be good, representing my Canadian pride (Met Owens before, nice dude), and I don't think Corbin v Ambrose is being as hyped as it is, that's gonna be a classic!

[D Backs GM (Tyler)]

Really? I hope Corbin/Ambrose surprises but I just don't think its going more than 5-10 minutes. They've built it as on of the less important parts of the show, except they've also built it as a blood feud that has spilled into weapons and stuff multiple times. I just don't see how they can pay it off in a meaningful way that far down the card.

[Deleted]

Perhaps the return of someone may cost either Corbin or Ambrose the title, perhaps Shelton Benjamin? Idk, I just find Ambrose and Corbin really good performers and have a good feeling about this match

[White Sox GM (alligatorchris)]

I may sign up for Owens/Jericho and then cancel before the Lester/Goldberg match.
Also if and when we see the Hardy's are they still the Broken Hardys" or is WWE going to mess it all up like with the Club? Too aren't we due for an in ring STUNNER? Maybe Stone Cold hares Goldberg for stealing his look and stuns his ass on the way diwn to the ring. He gives him a double finger salute then kicks Brock's ass all over Miami and drinks a cold one mid ring. Can I get a "Hell Yeah!"

[White Sox GM (alligatorchris)]

Who has the Money in the Bank case?

[White Sox GM (alligatorchris)]

Oh yeah and give me some Strong Style!!!!! I'm signing up

[D Backs GM (Tyler)]

I think WWE will be a lot more lenient with the Hardys since they know them so much better and probably trust them creatively since it has been 20 years lol.

And ditto on Owens Jericho! But the BrockBerg match won't take long and will be Schmoz don't worry. Painless I bet.

No one has the MITB case. Ambrose won it and cashed in later that night to win the title from Rollins and set up the Shield 3 way at Battleground (worth watching if you get the network!) But the case is out this time around.

NAKAMURA is prob not showing up until Monday or Tuesday if I had to guess. I am really really hoping for Tuesday so he can face AJ/Cena/Wyatt and get booked well.

[White Sox GM (alligatorchris)]

So Cena is proposing to Nikki Bella? Wow I'd like to break off a piece of that action.

[D Backs GM (Tyler)]

RESULTS!!!

Prediction - Sami Zayn v Stroman in the end. Braun dominates.
RESULT - GRONK SMASH! Mojo Rowley wins. I wish so badly that I had seen this coming.

Prediction - Alexa Bliss
RESULT - Sadness. Naomi gets the win in her hometown. (note - this went on second to last, not on the preshow, sorry!)

Prediction - Austin Aries
RESULT - Neville. Really really good match. AA was dropped on his head once by accident and there was a lot of flippy shit.

Prediction - John Cena + Nikki
Follow up - John Cena proposes to Nikki after the match. Unclear if its real life or not, or if it matters, or if they'd do it for the story anyway.
RESULT - Literally exactly this.

Prediction - Sasha Banks vanquishes Charlotte and wins the title.
RESULT - Bayley wins! No turns. Weird choice. I assume we see more follow up tomorrow because it was just kind of there.

Prediction - Corbin wins.
RESULT - Ambrose. This was relegated to pre-show. Oops. Fun match and really good closing reversal spot though.

Prediction - AJ Styles
RESULT - Match of the night by FAR with AJ winning.

Prediction - Kevon Owens
RESULT - Yup. Very good match. Lots of yelling in the ring "YOU HAVE NO FRIENDS!" lol

Prediction - Bray Wyatt
RESULT - Nope, Randy Orton wins. So much weird shit in this match and not a good match. Very disappointing.

Prediction - Seth Rollins
RESULT - Correct. A great match too. HHH brought it and so did Seth.

Prediction - Roman Wins
RESULT - Yup. 99.9% sure Undertaker retired after the match. Sad, but ultimately the right thing.

Prediction - Lesnar kills
RESULT - Lesnar kills.

OVERALL - A great card. Took WAY WAY too long, but a lot of fun matches.
PICK RECORD - 50% I'll take it.

[White Sox GM (alligatorchris)]

Ohhhhhhhh yeahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!